the dairy princess diaries

RETIRED.

2010-06-21T12:22:00.000-07:00

I think it's time.

It's been more than two months since my last post, and that one was just apologizing for not posting more. Seems to me the journey of this particular blog has come to an end.

What began as a chronicling of my return to the family farm in late 2006 evolved in late 2008 into just figuring myself out. After a whirlwind two years where my identity so quickly became that of a young cheesemaker on my family's farm, who was I? Still the Dairy Princess? The Cheese Queen?

When we were first told we weren't a good fit for the company, and then had to immediately distance ourselves from the cheese and the life that had so encompassed us, it felt as if my heart and soul were left in that Dutch cheese vat lined with teak. But I've only recently realized my heart and soul are and always have been right where they need to be.

What happened between my mom & stepfather and my husband & I was very truly like a divorce. Legal proceedings happened. Terrible things were said. Accusations were made. Children were put in the middle. Sides were taken. I found myself on the front page of the local gossip rag with a very false and damaging charge of embezzlement. It. Was. Ugly.

Being true to my instincts and PR roots and keeping a sort of strong-yet-optimistic air, on these pages and out in public, has been difficult. "Oh, you know, these things happen in farm families," I'd say while I blogged about learning to make loaves of bread. "I'm sure it'll work itself out, it just takes time," I said to people who asked whether we'd reconciled in time to invite them to the wedding.

And in the interim I was still trying to figure it all out for myself. I married an amazing, incredible man who took up his post at the helm of one of the greatest support systems in existence. I delved into the Four Agreements and continued into a four-day-a-week yoga practice. I'm gradually coming into my complete expression of myself, which believe it or not does not concern what I do for a living.

So I think now I'm finally ok with letting go. It's really not appropriate for me to fill these pages with so much personal stuff when the backlog concerns a life on a farm that I'm finally not feeling so connected to anymore. I wince when I notice the explosion of cheese-related blogs that are linking to this space. "Wait, no, don't do that!" I want to say to them, because I haven't made cheese for nearly two years and may not again for another two. And then that post I was going to write, ranting about some public affair or another, or chronicling my steps in what I can only cheesily call my spiritual journey (or my "Oprah Bullshit" as my good friend Jess calls it) will now toss and turn in my brain because it has nothing. to. do. with. cheese.

Ah, but back to being a cheesemaker. That was me. I was her. And I was pretty damn good at it. But if I'm not currently making cheese, do I still consider myself a cheesemaker? Absofuckinglutely. John and I will make cheese again, we hope sooner than later, on our own terms, on our own farm, to satisfy our own dreams. And I promise to let you know about it when it happens!

Ciao for now,
Mandy, formerly Dairy Princess

Guilt!

2010-04-10T08:24:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness. For someone who only two months ago was keeping track of every single thing she did in a week, I have been awfully silent. I think I've just let myself run out of time! We've had some really great amazing things happen - like a trip to New York for a long weekend and an uber exciting marketing contract that combines my core passions. So, I was thinking, maybe the push to publish on this thing only comes when my life is harried and I need to get everything in order? All this week, I've thought, "I should really get something up there. Like the tree!" (Because sandwiching all of our New York pictures on the camera are my weekly tree documentations that I have yet to upload.) But then I think, "but instead of that I should probably work on press releases and other things that I've been paid to do." And so I work on those things after I get home from work but only until eight because someone reminded me that I'm still technically a newlywed and so watching DVR'd episodes of The Soup, Modern Family and Justified on the couch with my husband and new favorite cocktail is also in order.

So, you know, I'm here. And I know full well that I owe more pictures of the tree and should probably get back to cooking one new thing a week like I promised, and should also finish my copy of Cheesemonger: A Life on the Wedge because that was my March book to read and I should already be on Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. But instead I need to get going because I'm selling olive oil at a luncheon where John Ash is the featured guest speaker and then I'm headed to a Kings Game in Sacramento, because if I didn't do those sorts of things I would feel super guilty and lame-o for letting work rule my life.

Seriously

2010-03-03T12:43:00.000-08:00

Where the eff does the time go?! I'm here! Lots of stuff going on, just haven't felt the push to get it all out...but I've done cool things! Still cooking one new thing a week; my first loaves of bread were a resounding success; my little tree outside has been documented, the proof of which will be up momentarily... I took on a pretty badass freelance job that I am SO excited to get started... hmm... oh and for some reason I've been revisiting the wedding (a mere 4 months ago, though it feels more like 4 years. We don't tread in one space too long, you know), so I'll maybe post more things about that.

Also been trying for weeks to organize a ridiculous awesome booksigning event in Chico that I think people are going to L.O.V.E. So, you know, stay tuned and all that!

I'm home all weekend (no farmers market peddling), so maybe I'll just write til my fingers can write no more!

m

Weekly Tree #5

2010-02-14T13:46:00.000-08:00

I didn't get a chance to take a picture of the tree outside my office this week because I went home Thursday with a nasty headache. But I didn't want to break my stride, so I thought I'd post a substitute tree, the one in our backyard.

I don't remember the name of this tree, either, but I love the way John has trained it to cascade toward the ground by tying rocks to a couple of the sturdier branches.

See that nice patch of mud underneath the tree? Would you believe me if I told you it's from our 3-legged dog, California, and her favorite game, "RRRROCKS!" where she spins and spins in circles and leaps into the air Hungry-Hungry-Hippo-style to catch the dangling boulders that mock her handicapability?*

How 'bout now?*Disclaimer: We do not train our dog to latch onto anything with her teeth, especially these rocks. It's something she picked up on her own (she never actually *catches* the rocks) and we just egg her on with the "RRRROCKS!" because we think having a 3-legged dog do silly stuff is kind of funny and also awesome.

Migraine

2010-02-13T12:44:00.000-08:00

My family says it's a hereditary thing, this unpredictable occurrence of agony called migraine. At least I think it was a migraine. I'm still wavering between sinus infection and migraine and haven't been to the doctor yet.

Sensitivity to light and sound? Check. Migraine. Post-nasal drip post-cold and pressure in head especially after sudden movements? Check. Sinus infection. GRRR....

I'm blaming it on exercise. That's right, quest to get healthy, you actually made me worse! What now?! See, Wednesday night I was looking for my running shoes to be prepared to jump out of bed at an ongodly hour the next morning and run my ass off. There they were, under the bed. But instead of crouching down like any normal human being would, I bent at my hips so that my upper body was near-perpendicular to the floor.

When I was little I had a baton filled with this glittery gelatinous substance and metallic stars. When I turned it upside down or right side up, I'd marvel at the little air bubble that would first travel to the other side of the baton, paving the way for the goo and stars to hurry behind it. THAT is what I felt in my head when I turned myself upside down to grab my shoes. When I was right side up again, BAM. Red-hot poker searing right through the crown of my head to my left eyeball.

The next morning, I went to the gym (I'd like to say "as usual," but it was only my second day) and ran about 2.5 miles on the treadmill. Doesn't sound like much, but after 4 months of practically NO exercise, I was a little beat, but exhilarated nonetheless. Until I got home. The pounding in my head never quite stopped. Where did those little men who were trying to push my eyeballs out from inside my head come from? And where did they get those damn fireworks?!

I went to work, thinking I'd just over-exerted myself and my body would calm down after some water. I did all the right things: stayed away from direct light and glares; ate plenty; had only one cup of coffee; massaged my achey, swollen cheeks; avoided the boisterous conversations and YELLING of Colin Cowherd on ESPN in the warehouse... but then. Then we had a delivery and no one else was around to unload it. Five double-stacked pallets. Outside, in the gray afternoon (that's the worst for me, when it's slightly overcast...something about the way the light refracts just shoots lasers right into my eyeballs). What to do? I jumped on the forklift and unloaded it, no problem. Except, with every turn of my head, I'd see a few more spots. Or my left eye would go dark, entirely. I thought I was done with the last pallet, then realized there were some loose boxes that had to be offloaded manually. "Whoa," I said to no one in particular, when the Grand Finale firework exploded behind my left eye.

Once I got home, there wasn't much to do but make a few feeble phone calls and move some appointments around, then send an embarrassingly apologetic email to bail on my very first freelance deadline. I hate feeling like a slacker, but I'm so glad I did, because soon the pain was shooting through my neck and down my shoulders, back and arms.

What the hell?! I decided a few times to go to the doctor to get something to knock me out and take care of the pain, but then talked myself out of it and just tried to sleep it off on my own. I'd rather not sit at prompt care and try to meet my $3k deductible for them to tell me to take a couple of Advil PMs and drink plenty of water (check and check), but what if I have a sinus infection that needs to be treated, and just gets worse when I do things like exercise or turn upside down? Hmm...

Do you get migraines and/or sinus infections? What do you do to control / combat them?

*Image from stumptowngirl.

Adulthood: In the Eye of the Beholder

2010-02-10T06:33:00.000-08:00

I've always felt older than my actual age. Like now, I have to sort of remind myself I'm not 30 yet. I feel like I should be at least 32 by now, but I'm still rockin' the late 20s. I think it's because I've always taken on responsibilities that people my age normally don't (bringing a cheese company back from the brink at 25? check.), so I've often had a hard time reconciling my limited life experiences (purely based on my time on Earth) with my mind's age, if that makes sense.

But maybe my adulthood's catching up with me? I've been compiling a list in my head of little things that may actually be marking my descent (or ascent, I guess, depending on how you look at it) into *actual* adulthood:

1. Having a "tax guy." We bit the bullet and made an appointment with someone, not because I can't figure out a 1040, but because I've picked up some freelance work and want to make sure I'm planning for 2010 right and making smart decisions on my deductions. Plus, when we DO start farming for ourselves, we'll want to plan accordingly and have good-looking returns for lenders/investors. Whoa. See? Just blew my mind right there. And know how I'm really adult? I cringe at the fact that this guy charges my hourly salary squared, but then I'm cool with that because I figure it's better than getting hosed by the IRS.

2. Finding gray hair. Oh yeah, got the confirmation from my hairdresser herself yesterday. At first I thought maybe they were just blonde remnants from the Rachael Ray makeover (2 years ago, but you never know, right?!), so I pulled them just to get a better look. But yeah, the one that's left is *all* gray (which apparently means it's, like, a year's worth of growth?) and a totally different texture. I'm chalking it up to all that shit I went through over the last year. And, I'm totally rocking it! Since I've always felt older anyway, I just figure I'll be that distinguished woman with the silver bob... at 30. Then maybe the crazy checker at Raley's who acts like she doesn't know me even though I've shopped there for 5 years will finally stop carding me.

3. Wondering if you embarrassed yourselves and others by "getting low." Oh man. I so want to tell this story in another post. It so deserves its own post. Let me just say this: when you wake up the morning after attending a fundraiser for a youth swim team and ask each other, "were the kids dancing with us because they thought we were cool, or because they were making fun of us?"... that, my friends, is the true sign of aging.

Weekly Goal Roundup #4

2010-02-08T18:57:00.000-08:00

I didn't realize just how much of a cold medicine fog I was in last week until today, when I made it through a whole day of work AND survived (and remembered!) the drive home. Also, I'm here writing instead of watching Dr. Phil and falling asleep on the couch at 6:30. Man, last week was brutal. But last week I promised good reports on all things, so here goes...

1. Write every day. I did write a bit, and cheated by reading a few lessons ahead in my writing book. Sometimes I get intimidated by this woman telling me what to write about all the time, but I guess that's part of the process -- trusting what I write. Also, I picked out two "writing places" in the house that are super comfy and kind of inspiring. One is in the big chair on my back porch that's going to be amazing when the weather warms up. Word.

2. Drink 60 oz. of water every day. Pretty sure I did this most days. PS, are you noticing the separation between the words "every" and "day"? I'm starting a revolution to take back the term everyday. It's an adjective, people! There's a difference! Would you say, "I go to Jack In the Box onceaweek?" NO. No you would not. (I pick on Jack in the Box because their giant window posters actually scream "Breakfast. Everyday." The brilliant minds who came up with the mini sirloin burger commercials can't quite get a grasp on the English language? Shame.)

3. Exercise 3 times a week. Hmmm... Oh! We joined the gym last week. I've yet to make it to actually work out, but I think tomorrow I will attempt a class. I give myself the "newbie at the gym" overwhelmies, but tomorrow it. is. ON.

4. Cook something new once a week. Still did it, though it's nothing to sneeze at - just "Chili Mac" from a recipe on the back of a box of pasta. Cheap, quick, and surprisingly easy to make when you've had a couple of greyhounds after inadvertently taking "Nighttime" cold medicine.

5. Read one book a month. I had every intention of getting my library card last week and checking out a book Shalet mentioned, but I didn't. Today I came home to find The Art of Racing in the Rain on the coffee table. Nobody's claimed it, and who knows when I'll make it to the library, so it seems that fate has sealed my February choice.

6. Finish the business plan. I still don't know what I'm able to divulge, but I will say this: after thinking long and hard, and spending inordinate amounts of time in front of Excel sheets and our Small Business Development Center counselor, we've decided to take a slower, smaller approach to our goals. We are no longer looking for land. As is the case with many people our age who want to 'get into' farming, we don't currently have the assets/capital to jump head-first into any sort of landowning possibility without taking huge risks that might ruin us should anything bad happen.

But, we are so incredibly lucky to be able to utilize land and resources on an already established farm. That, plus the stability of our full-time jobs (and some side jobs. Woo boy, the side jobs!) will maybe give us the headway we'll need to realize our dream of a small, sustainable, integrated farm/agritourismo/education destination. I know this is the smart decision, but I also wonder if there'll ever be a time that I regret taking the 'slow and steady' pace instead of just taking the risk--even though I've seen first-hand what risk-taking with few assets and subsequent debt can lead to. Yeesh.

7. Learn to bake bread. One word: intimidated. I've been poring over my stupid breadmaking book and am now entirely too overwhelmed to start. But I did promise to have something good to report...let's see...well, you know, I did READ a lot about baking bread, so I'm already more knowledgeable for when I DO try to make it...

Weekly Tree #4

2010-02-05T18:53:00.001-08:00

Not much happening this week in the way of tree evolution. I started this project because at the beginning of autumn last year, it seemed that our little tree changed almost daily. Now the only changes are the deeper hues of red that are growing on the edges of its limbs. I don't want to sound too expectant in what is only my fourth week of documentation (and the first week of February; appropriate given the decision of the groundhog this week, no?), because I know soon enough this tree will be laden with buds and alive with bees and flitting sparrows. Patience, grasshopper.

I watch throughout the week to try to catch the most opportune time to document the world from our tree's eyes. Today seemed to be the best. It was a dreary day, not much rain, but plenty of clouds and mist lilting over the tips of the mountains to the east. See those trees at the top of the hills in the background, right where the sky meets the mountains? Today they seemed to me like armed warriors upon their steeds, ready at any moment to be unleashed to storm the great Norcalesian valley. Or something. Maybe they're just the sentries of the great canyon below, shivering like my tree as the frosty winter rushes past to make its appointment in Nevada, standing proud nonetheless.

Cook Something New #3: Chicken Pot Pie

2010-02-01T09:00:00.000-08:00

Ok, so here's what I'm most proud of myself for this week:

1: I'm learning to adapt to mishaps in the kitchen; therefore

2: I don't think every cooking experience is win-or-lose, in fact, I think about what I can do better next time.

With that said, here's my first attempt at chicken pot pie:

I'll give you a minute to stop laughing.

Done?

Ok. So here's the deal. We had a leftover rotisserie chicken that needed to be made into something. Also, John was sick all week and so our level of fine dining had dropped dramatically. All I wanted was to make something warm and hearty that he could actually enjoy after days of not eating, is that so wrong?!

I scoured the Internet looking for a great chicken pot pie recipe, but every single one of them used pre-made pie dough. Come on, I've mastered Grissini and Herb Rolls; I didn't want to sully my record with a Pillsbury confection. Could I have scoured further to find a pie dough recipe instead? In hindsight, yes. But instead I chose this recipe from Serious Eats that used biscuits for topping.

If anyone reading this is, like me, a late-20s newcomer to domesticity and fumbling your way around the kitchen, might I offer my first nugget of advice by experience? Do not try to squeeze all of a recipe calling for a 9 x 13 x 2 pan into an 11 x 7 x 1.5 one. It just won't work. Know what will happen? You'll have leftover biscuit dough. Know what you shouldn't do? Put all of the leftover biscuit dough on top of your confection anyway. Know why? Because you've already managed to deftly smoosh all of your chicken/veggie/cream/duck stock (instead of the chicken stock; we already had it on-hand thanks to chef John) into said pan and the act of all that dough sinking into an already at-capacity food vessel will, by all laws of physics and kitchen gadget trickery, cause rivulets of cream/duck stock soup (which you should have let simmer a little longer to thicken anyway) to flow with reckless abandon over the sides of your kitchy blue Pyrex dish and onto the counter...or onto the wooden cutting board sticky with biscuit dough remnants after you've decided to move the Pyrex because THAT will make it stop flowing...or onto the cookie sheet that you've now decided will have to accompany the Pyrex into the oven or else you'll have real trouble on your hands.

Know why else you shouldn't add all that biscuit dough to an already full pan of what appears before cooking to be quite a delectable dish? Because you'll have to layer it, or get super cutesy and fold the little circles in half to make them fit in between the rows of perfectly lined dough circles that don't quite meet in the middle because YOU'RE USING THE WRONG SIZE PAN and then they won't bake uniformly and you'll have crispy biscuits on the outside and oozing dough on the inside.

And for whatever reason, some of that dough will decide that this is all too much, that it was meant for something much greater, and it will take its chance on that rushing river of cream and duck stock making its way to the precipice of the dish because it seems to offer so much more, only once it gets to the edge and realizes its fate is eternal hellfire on a sizzling pan of what is now the deep-brown, caked-on remains of that river of promise, it can't stop what is already in motion and is carried away to its final resting place lodged UNDER the 11 x 7 x 1.5. And, as is sometimes the case in these high-action make-or-break culinary adventures, a few innocent peas will get caught up in the madness and suffer the same fate. Those poor peas. With so much promise. It's a damn shame.

All drama aside, the pot pie (or chicken and dumplings, maybe?) was damn good, save for the gooey middle of the biscuits, the lake of liquid left in the pan due to my thickening mishap and the cleanup afterward. I may try my hand at this again, only this time I think I'll use our Mario Batali Dutch Oven instead.

*My local ingredients for this round included:

Carrots from Pyramid Farms
Duck stock from Massa Organics duck

Weekly Goal Roundup #3

2010-01-31T11:30:00.000-08:00

Even if posting these goals is a little TMI for all 25 people who sometimes stumble upon this schizophrenic blog (sorry if you're here to find out about cheese supplies in Sacramento; I've kind of moved on, but please feel free to poke around!), I'm finding it to be a pretty valuable resource. Because how many Sundays in a row can I say, "nope, failed on that one again this week" before I feel like a total loser? So, mostly for my own sake, I hereby promise that next Sunday I will have something positive to report on ALL goals. K? K.

1. Write every day. I do believe this is the least I've written in a very long time. It may be a case of the overwhelmies, or it may just be that I don't have anything to get out just yet. My biggest impulse to write usually comes when something monumental (to me, anyway) happens and I need to sort it out. My brain usually doesn't let me function adequately if there's something going on that I need to make peace with. And right now, I'm pretty peaceful. But maybe that's a good time to write, too. This week I'll attempt to write when I'm at peace instead of in turmoil and see what happens.

2. Drink 60 oz. of water every day. I was staving off a pretty nasty flu John brought home this week, so I surprisingly stayed on top of my fluid intake. Sixty ounces? Probably not, but close.

3. Exercise 3 times a week. Ok, this is getting ridiculous. I'm getting back to a point I don't like to be. My clothes don't fit, and though I'm eating amazing food cooked with our amazing wedding gifts that help perpetuate this feeling of wedded bliss and domesticity, I'm going to say this 3 times and hope it's enough to get me motivated: Fat Mandy Doesn't Live Here Anymore. Fat Mandy Doesn't Live Here Anymore. Fat Mandy DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE. (And yes, before you blithely point out that all of my cooking experiments have included carbs to the nth degree, I do believe that if I really focus on Goals 2 & 3 I can do both, thankyouverymuch.)

4. Cook something new once a week: Done and done, though not such a raving success as the herb rolls or Grissini. My first attempt at chicken pot pie was a near (although somewhat hilarious) flop. Also, I'm still learning patience and innovation, so that's totally fine.

5. Read one book a month: Have I told you lately I will never own a Kindle? I mean EVER. It's enough I read the news online (and as a former journalism student I often feel guilty for not supporting the dying art of print), but a book?! Sometimes I feel like we're all just players in that Steve Martin movie The Jerk, when all these people buy those funny glasses but then it turns out that after a while it makes them all cross-eyed and they come after him with pitchforks or something. I mean, they're BOOKS! Beautiful, thought-out, fold-on-themselves-while-curled-in-a-chair pieces of our history! Why rob ourselves of that warm, cozy time in the bookstore where we can judge things by covers and inside jackets and can chat up that awkward but brilliant steward with the comb-over about the latest release? I have, heretofore, adopted what was begun by eastsidebride, and am pledging to read the printed word. That said, I am finishing Julie and Julia today, while enjoying my serendipitous leftover Boeuf Bourguignon a la Chef John and am promptly looking for a February book. Any suggestions?

6. Finish the business plan. Developments are underway, but I have not gotten the go-ahead to blog about them. They are not earth-shattering, "we're moving to the country to live out our dreams" developments, but rather the kind of sane, somewhat calculated, utilize-our-limited-assets developments that I think any financial or farm adviser would suggest. When I get the A-OK, I will let all 25 of you know (except for you, auntie and grandma and james, I'll e-mail you today!).

7. Learn to bake bread. Haven't made any real strides in this area this week. I did learn how to scrape dough and flour from surfaces without it turning into a pasty mess that you can never quite get rid of, which is good. Ok, this week, I'll attempt my first loaf. Oh lord, here we go...

Weekly Tree #3

2010-01-30T17:10:00.000-08:00

Week 3 of documenting the tree outside my office!

The days are getting a tad longer. One day this week I stayed a bit later to make up for being gone for a meeting John and I had earlier in the day. Admittedly, I'd been oblivious to the longer days, until I realized when I left the office at a quarter 'til six it wasn't pitch black and I didn't feel the need to walk to my truck with my box cutter at the ready.

Anywho, here's Mr. Tree around 5-ish:
And here he is once I realized the nearly full moon was glowing just behind him:You can't tell from these pics, but the tips of his branches are turning a dark red, I'm thinking they're starting the process of budding soon?

To follow along:
Week 1, The Beginning!
Week 2, After the Storm

Cook Something New New #2: Grissini (Breadsticks)

2010-01-27T06:21:00.000-08:00

I am obsessed with Grissini. At least once a month, I am guaranteed to pop over to Bacio's carryout counter, grab a small container of Thai chicken salad to go, and nonchalantly add a package of those delightful breadsticks while I'm paying at the counter. By the time I'm back to the office, at least half the breadsticks are gone. And the rest aren't necessarily guaranteed to make it home with me. They're just so crisp and buttery with a hint of sea salt; it's like eating air--ok, like eating air smothered in butter and dusted with sea salt. But they're so good!

I found a recipe online (here, from the LA Times) that looked easy enough, so the day my rolling pin came in, I decided to give them a shot.

The first instructions already were different from my herb rolls. I was supposed to mix all sorts of ingredients with the yeast and the water and then let it set? Didn't sound right, but I went for it anyway.

Wait 'til it bubbles? But you just told me to mix all this other stuff together! It's all sticky like dough already, there's no way it's going to bubble. Whatever, don't panic.

I let it sit, no bubbles appeared, so I went ahead with the recipe, adding my 1/2 cup of wheat flour from Massa Organics.

The dough...well, the dough was not dough. It reminded me of sugar cookie dough that's all flakey but somehow comes together at some point. Only there was no way this was coming together. Old Mandy would have chalked it up to her miserable cooking record and gotten mad, maybe banged a few things around. Said something snippy. But, for whatever reason, I decided to add warm water a bit at a time to see if that would help it form. Success! I know, this sounds so trivial, but honestly, the joke in my family For.ev.er was that I once messed up a Jello No-Bake pie. I followed the rules to my (and the dish's) detriment without really paying attention to the dish itself.So. Dough was successfully dough; it rose in its beautiful Crate and Barrel bowl (which has now been dubbed the dough rising bowl) and John created his nightly masterpiece. This time it was an amazing sausage and roasted pepper sauce that simmered almost the entire duration of the breadstick project.Once the dough had risen, I divided it into four sections, rolling one section out at a time and deciding on its flavoring. Butter and sea salt were requirements, but after the second one I got a little creative and added black pepper and oregano to the third and toasted sesame oil to the fourth. Then I cut them into strips with my pizza dough cutter and laid them out on...well, on whatever I could find because I only have 2 baking sheets and this was going to make 4 rounds. On the third batch I got all crazy and twisted them before they set.Then they (supposedly) rose for 10 minutes. The first batch rose, then some tried and some just laid there like wet noodles, but eventually they all had to go into the oven so we could actually eat dinner that night. You can't imagine my glee, though, when the first batch started puffing up into these cute little breadsticks!As they came out of the oven, I could hardly contain my excitement. I'd done it! Without incident! No fighting, no slamming, no wondering why oh why in the world did I think I could actually be domestic...I did get my first memorable battle scar, a burn on my third finger from trying to turn the sticks while they were in the oven (not as cool as nicks from the curd-cutting knives, but whatever).

Some stayed in too long, and the ones that didn't rise got a bit darker than the others. But on the whole, once they were cool enough to munch, we could not stop eating them, just like the ones I buy at Bacio. The batch with the sesame oil were the fave, second runner-up were the twisted ones with black pepper. All went so nicely with John's incredible sauce, which he poured over Penne. And we shared the kitchen! We actually made dinner together!

*Top pic is from The Nibble*

Weekly Goal Roundup #2

2010-01-24T18:41:00.000-08:00

Man, what a week. Gone Saturday through Monday for work, meetings every day, torrential downpours and tree limb-snapping wind gusts the whole week...makes a girl want to hole up after work and not do much of anything. Sigh. So here's my roundup:

1. Write every day: Do a couple of blog posts and personal emails count? 'Cause that's about all I did.

2. Drink 60 oz. of water every day: Stormy weather makes me crave all sorts of warm beverages I can wrap my hands around while in a huddled position. So, technically, I had at least 60 oz. of water every day, but it was in the form of coffee, tea or delicious instant Ghirardelli hot cocoa. Seriously, how do you get enough water in a day?

3. Exercise 3 times a week: I did not exercise. At all. But in my defense, it was reeeeally stormy out and I was extreeeeemely exhausted. But I didn't feel guilty one bit, and that's a huge step right there. You might even say it was a 'lunge,' so that totally counts.

4. Cook something new once a week: Success! I baked a batch of Grissini breadsticks that were the perfect complement to John's Penne with sausage and roasted peppers. Details to follow.

5. Read one book a month: Halfway through Julie and Julia. Liking it tons more now that I'm not comparing it to the movie. I'm digging her voice and I can even appreciate why she started the Project.

6. Finish the business plan: Serious pub chat time yet again this week. Details are coming, promise!

7. Learn to bake bread: My rolling pin, the one I ordered sight-unseen from an industrial restaurant supply catalog, the one that is (a total shock to me) longer and thicker than my arm, showed up last week. I used it for the breadsticks, AND I learned the art of kneading.

See, I always thought you just beat the hell out of the dough; maybe punched it a couple times, stretched it and scrunched it back together, then threw it onto a floured surface and watched white dust poof from under it in all directions. But noooo...not according to my new book! Here's what you're supposed to do, according to Gail Sher:

"Pick up the far edge of the dough and fold it toward you. Push down and forward with the heels of your hands as you rock forward with your whole body. Turn the dough one quarter turn while rocking back and fold and push again with another forward motion. Gradually the folding and pushing will become one movement."

So now, I appreciate the dough and become one with it while rocking and pushing. No more of that insensitive dough punching. Geez, what a jerk I was! Funny how my time in the kitchen, much like my time in the cheeseplant, is a continuing lesson in patience and humility.

Weekly Tree #2

2010-01-21T18:48:00.000-08:00

Week two of Weekly Tree Documentation!

I think I'd like to name this tree, but I can't think of anything just yet. It's coming, though. This week, I watched him (I'm pretty sure it's a he) weather one of the ugliest storms Northern California has ever faced. Whooshing gusts of wind whipped at his tender, bare limbs. Leaves and garbage danced around his roots and then fluttered out to the open field.

Here he is after a brief respite; the clouds had broken for about 30 minutes, we were treated to a double rainbow, then the sky darkened yet again. Poor guy. Spring is coming!

Cook Something New Each Week #1

2010-01-20T18:27:00.000-08:00

Last week, I met my "Cook Something New Each Week" goal with Sunset Magazine's Overnight Soft Herb Rolls from its '09 Holiday Cookbook. In the book, they don't say "Overnight." I just made them in one fell swoop.

I'll let you in on a little secret: I don't have much experience in the kitchen. And when I'm not perfect at something on the very first go-'round, I require some alone time to figure out what I'm doing and maybe even make mistakes as I go along. I'm a learner by doing.

But my loved ones don't seem to understand the severity of my "please let me cook alone in peace so I don't feel like you're watching my every screwup and subsequently judging me" syndrome.

How cute that Mandy's trying to cook! Aw, look at the little cheesemaker trying to make *actual* food! Adorable! Aw, she doesn't know to rinse the herbs or remove them from the stems before she puts them in the bread, poor lamb! I should step in and let her know before she ruins the whole batch!

That's the snarky commentary that went on in my head after I snapped at my husband for what I clearly interpreted as interfering, judging and taking over.

"You might want to--"

"Yep."

"I mean, it'd be easier to--"

"I got it."

"I'm just trying to--"

"WHAT?!"

In the end, that's how I was finally able to make the damn rolls in peace, though they weren't exactly made with love and tenderness, if you know what I mean. Oh, I kneaded that dough, don't you worry. And during that time I kind of put myself in time out to determine why, exactly, I felt the need to bite John's head off instead of humbly accepting his help.

I think I just need some time to gain my confidence around the place; that's what happened in the cheese plant. It took me a while to find my rhythm and feel like I knew what I was doing in there. But then, too, I just needed some time to figure it out on my own.

John, however, made this incredible potato leek soup with duck stock and cheese rind while the dough was rising. Show off. Then I apologized, we kissed and made up, and came to an amicable decision on the buffer space I think I'll need during this attempt familiarize myself with the kitchen. I'll get there, then I'll be a whiz, just like with the cheese!

Weekly Goal Roundup #1

2010-01-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

So, how'd I do on my goals this week?

Well, technically I'm writing this Friday night so I have two more days to go. But I'll be out of town for work so I thought I'd recap now. Unless something miraculous happens while I'm at the Wild and Scenic Film Festival or the Fancy Food Show, this is about as close to meeting my goals as I'm going to get.

1. Write every day: I got up early enough to write twice this week. I wasn't really feeling it, and was finding myself getting disappointed in what I'd written after the 10 minutes was up. Luckily my book came in the mail on Thursday! I have never in my life been so excited to receive a book in the mail. It's coming with me on my travels this weekend just so I can peek at what's in store for me for future writing exercises.

2. Drink 60 oz. of water every day: Fail and fail every day but Thursday. No joke, I had a pint glass on my desk, calculated how many pints would equal 60 ounces, divided that total by how many hours I would be at work, and set my Outlook reminder to ding every time I was supposed to have finished a pint. I felt awesome and was alert enough by the end of the day to want to work out, so it totally worked. Oddly, I didn't have to rush to the bathroom at all during the day, so something leads me to believe I'm a little underhydrated (yes I know that's not a word).

3. Exercise 3 times a week: Unless I do some windsprints at the film festival on Saturday or my boss really cashes in on her threat to ride bikes from our hotel to the Moscone Center for the Fancy Food Show, I succeeded in one day of exercise to the tune of "New York City Ballet Workout 2" video (much better than vol. 1, if you ask me).

4. Cook something new once a week: Done and done. Soft herb rolls from the most recent Sunset Holiday recipe book. They were delish and paired swimmingly with John's potato leek soup. There's a good story behind them, but I'll save that for another post.

5. Read one book a month: Still pluggin' away at Julie and Julia, though am continually shocked at the 'cutesing-down' that occurred with the Julie character for the movie. Not to say I don't relate to her, it's just almost an entirely different story. Also sometimes makes me think all I need is a little more purpose and I too can become a published writer just like her (sans infidelity)!

6. Finish the Business Plan: John and I had a great pub meetup the other night to chart out the future, which looks like it may be falling into our laps whether we're ready or not!

7. Learn to bake bread: Cookbook is here! Just gotta get the particulars down and probably a bit more baking accoutrements and I'm set!

Anyone else dutifully keeping track of their goals or am I the only A.R. one in the group?

Weekly Tree #1

2010-01-16T09:00:00.000-08:00

This Sunday marks one year at my 'real job' as an office manager ("she's not a secretary, she's our office manager!" I heard my boss correct someone the other day. Whatever, I answer phones, wear a cardigan whose front pockets have sometimes been known to smuggle Kleenex, and I sneak chocolate-covered pretzels from the drawer in my desk. In my mind, that screams secretary, but I love my job so I'll take whatever title is thrown at me. Unless the title is something like "that nasally girl who answers phones." In that case, office manager will do. I'm working on speaking from my diaphragm.).

Where was I? Oh, right. I have the most beautiful scene from our office windows. I can sit forever (but I don't because I have an office to manage) and watch the clouds hightail it over the mountains to the valley on the other side. From this view, we're often treated to the most glorious rainbows and spectacular colors that herald the changes of the seasons.

I don't know what kind of tree this is (I've known, but I never remember), but over the last year I've marveled at its weekly adaptation to the change occurring around it. So I thought this year I'd snap a few pics of it each week with this magnificent background and chronicle the beauty I get to see each day (you know, before our landlord sells a parcel to build more office buildings and nobody's treated to this view ever again. Now that I'm old I can foresee that kind of regret-- which is an odd marker of adulthood, if you ask me).

(PS I think I should have sub-headed this the post of a million parentheses. I'm kind of digging the asides, you know?)

Intend to Resolve

2010-01-11T19:47:00.000-08:00

This is the first time in years I actually made New Year's resolutions; I guess at the end of 2009 I felt a few changes should take place. I think it just coincided with a recurring feeling I sometimes get that my life is out of control and I need to set some boundaries to get back to feeling like a productive human being. (And by out of control I don't mean blacking out after Jaegerblasters on Tuesday nights or anything; more like, not doing laundry on a regular basis, staying up too late watching Bones reruns, and sleeping in so late that I show up to work with wet hair and without a lunch. I know. I'm a rebel.)

So far, I've stuck to every single one. Ok, ok all but one. Ok, most. But I'm working on it! Here they are, so you can keep me on track:

1. Write every day. I've woken up an hour early every morning just to get some words out. The fire to write was really in there over the holidays, but I couldn't think of what to write. A friend of mine mentioned she's reading Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, who advocates writing by hand 3 pages each morning before you even get out of bed. And I found another book that I'm anxiously awaiting from Amazon that promotes writing 10 minutes every day. So I combined the two and write for 10 minutes every morning on the computer...after I make coffee and let the cat out. Even when I have to be at work at 6:30! Ok, except for this weekend. I was out of town and subsequently hungover. My writing would've suffered anyway.

2. Drink 60 ounces of water every day. I blame being around caffeinated beverages every day. While I've met this goal twice so far, I'm still drastically deficient in the water consumption department. Especially after this weekend. Does soda water count?

3. Work out 3 times a week. Ok, this one's hilarious! Last Tuesday after work I came home early (on time), threw on some sweats and a beanie and grabbed the dog for a run around the neighborhood. The 3-legged dog. The 3-legged dog who has two speeds: Sprint and Limp. The run around the neighborhood's beauty is its short route. So the tripod and I SCREAM through the neighborhood at full bore and tucker out right about the time we get back to our corner, then we "cool down" and walk home. Perfect. I also ended up doing some serious manual labor twice at work last week so it totally counts. Done and done.

4. Cook something new once a week. Last week was Asian chicken salad, inspired by Bacio's Thai Chicken Noodle salad, which I eat for lunch at least once a month. Obviously not as good, but still new. John's the chef in the household, so this makes me feel creative AND like a productive member of the household. Along with my writing book, I ordered a book on breadmaking, which will for sure satisfy my one-new-thing-a-week rule as well as my I-miss-making-cheese itch.

5. Read one book a month. Sigh. I miss reading. I plow through Vanity Fair every month, but I miss getting engrossed in a real book. My friend and I had a snippy conversation about Julie and Julia at our weekly pub date on Friday so she lent me the book. I just started it--and if you've ever thought the movie version of Julie reminded you of me (I've heard it a few times), the book version so far is the "Mandy who's not allowed out of the house" version. Eerie.

6. Finish the Business Plan. There, it's resolved, so it will happen.

7. Learn to bake bread. Already mentioned, just waiting for the book. And then I have to score stuff like a rolling pin and such, but it'll happen and then I'll be a breadmaker!

Not so bad, eh? Something that makes me a little more productive and not just an office manager, which is cool. And I've totally made it to work on time AND eaten lunch so far, so... score!

Did you resolve anything?

First Wedding Recap: The Booze

2009-12-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

Why? Because James asked me to. And because James saved money in a piggy bank to fly here from New York to not only be at the wedding, but to give a BFF toast that to this day makes me teary. And so, for the first wedding recap, I give you: the booze.

It really isn't much, to be honest. We completely lucked out in so many areas:

1. My bosses offered to pay for the wine and gave us a very generous gift certificate to Trader Joe's (because that's where we decided, practically, to buy the wine. And people thanked us for 'splurging' on them).

2. The wine steward at Chico's Trader Joe's is talented, friendly and super cool; I would now consider her bordering the line between 'person who helped pick our wedding wine' and 'cool person I'd love to hang out with especially because she asked about the wedding the next time I saw her, I recently noticed we share cool facebook friends, and we smile and wave to each other at the farmers market.'

3. The wedding was during the day, lots of our friends went out the night before, and we'd pre-arranged a no-host afterparty at the local tavern.

4. Our venue didn't require us to use a particular bar service, and our caterer has her booze license.

Easy breezy, right? For the wine choice, since we were having braised lamb and polenta lasagna (word. There's a whole 'nother post on the food and impeccable catering), we sided with mostly red, and thought we'd appease those few white wine fans with a case of white (we currently have 9 bottles of said white in the garage). We bought 4 different cases of reds plus one TJ's 'top shelf' red for us. We just finished the last leftover bottle of red about a week ago. We also got 2 cases of TJ's Prosecco, the last of which we are still enjoying, thankyouverymuch.

Yes we were broke and were hosting a very no-frills practical wedding, but that didn't mean we couldn't have a signature drink! We'd bandied about several different options (mint juleps? yikes! mojitos? played out!), but in the end we decided what most represented us was the good ol' beermosa. What's that? Never had a beermosa, you say? Sounds disgusting, you're thinking? Well, my friend, with the right combination of orange juice and light beer, most of our guests were singing the praises of the nectar of the gods!

Yes, yes, a beermosa is orange juice and light beer (about 3/4 beer to 1/4 OJ, to be exact). But the secret lies in the fresh-squeezed, organic goodness gifted to us by our good friends Harpos Organics. And for this particular concoction, no light beer other than Bud Light will do. So we snagged a pony keg of the ol' BL, picked up 5 gallons of the OJ from Pamela at the farmers market that morning, and served the drinks in mason jars borrowed from our buddies from GRUB (not because all the pretty wedding blogs tell you they're the cool thing to serve drinks in at weddings now; we really do drink out of mason jars on a regular basis. We just didn't have 150 to spare).

We also served 'straight' beer, in the form of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Blue Moon and Corona. John bought me a 6-pack of Amstel Light to stash away just in case. Surveying our beer cache the night before, he decided we'd probably run out, so on his way to the wedding he picked up a few more cases of BL and Corona. I think we opened our last case of BL this week.

When the wedding (and the keg) were all said and done, we had a couple hours to kill before we headed to Duffy's Tavern for the afterparty. We'd made flyers. We'd invited people through facebook and the farmers market vendor newsletter (yup!). We PACKED that bar but I have no idea what people drank. They were on their own. Me? I had water, a gin & tonic and a well-intentioned but unnecessary shot of Jameson and soon thereafter went home (barefoot) with my husband.

The Company Christmas Party

2009-12-13T16:26:00.000-08:00

We had the most amazing dinner at Leon in Chico Saturday night: five courses, each paired with a different hand-selected wine, mostly local fare and amazing service. And the best part? It was my office's company holiday party.

The bosses asked Ann Leon to replicate an experience they had at Thomas Keller's Ad Hoc earlier this year. Her creativity and talent rose to the occasion, creating quite possibly the best dining out experience I've had all year.

I had the honor of choosing the cheese course - a double-duty task that also meant keeping the rest of the menu a secret from my officemates and even John. I think 80 percent of my anticipation for the dinner was knowing that nobody else had even an inkling what they were in for. Armed with this top secret information, as well as prior experiences with Leon's gargantuan portions, I fasted almost all day and steered clear of the shrimp cocktail appetizer at the pre-party.

I'd hoped to take pictures and even promised to live tweet the dinner, but I was a bit apprehensive after hearing everyone's grumbling about last year's near-debacle, when a former employee brazenly and tipsily texted and giggled throughout dinner. I kept my Blackberry tucked nicely inside my clutch until well into the meal; I did, however, snag a menu printed especially for the occassion so I might share it here... ready?

First course: Salad of T&D Willey Farms baby spinach, toasted honey pine nuts kissed with Guajillo chile, Myzithra cheese from Greece, and Honeycrisp apples. Served with warm smoked bacon vinaigrette.
Paired with: Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc, '09, New Zealand

Second course: Comanche Creek butternut squash ravioli, oven-roasted tomatoes, Jerusalem artichokes, braised leeks and herbs.
Paired with: Four Bears Chardonnay, '07, Central Coast, CA

Third course: CHEESE!
Cirrus - from Mt. Townsend Creamery in Washington. Cow's milk, a small and creamy version of camembert, drizzled with a mango pepper sauce.

Truffle Tremor - from Cyprus Grove in Arcata, CA. Soft-ripened goat cheese with the classic taste of truffle. Served with grilled figs.

Abbaye de Belloc - French Pyrenees sheep's milk cheese, made in the traditional manner by Benedictine Monks at the abbey of Notre Dame de Belloc. Served with grilled figs and a light, complementary drizzle.
Paired with: Mirrasou Pinot Noir

*Cirrus picture from Pacific Northwest Cheese Project.

Fourth course: Pork porterhouse, stuffed with fresh goat cheese, local olives and pears. Marinated and grilled, served over Bob's Red Mill polenta, Hand-In-Garden's organic braising greens and candied yams. With natural pork jus and balsamic cream.
Paired with: Louis M. Martini Cabernet Sauvignon, '07, Sonoma County CA

Fifth course: Dessert. Turnover filled with Queener Farms Ollalieberries and pistachios, served with honey Creme Anglaise and honey ice cream. Served with french presses of Peet's Jamaica Blue Mountain.
Paired with: Dr. Loosen Blue State Riesling, '07, Mosel Valley Germany

I know, right? There were just 12 of us at dinner: our super close-knit team and significant others. We took our sweet ass time enjoying every single bite and sip, laughing and telling stories, and finally rolling ourselves out of there at 11 pm (actually, I have to confess, even with the fasting I brought home almost my entire entree!).
We all enjoyed the much-needed few-block walk to Duffy's, where we brilliantly chose Irish carbombs as the digestif of the evening; because, you know, sampling Sierra Nevada's new Life and Limb and sipping Chandon between courses wasn't enough. Good god I thought I'd pop!

Hands down, best company holiday party ever. How were your holiday parties?

Oh, Hey...

2009-12-13T10:02:00.000-08:00

Back! Actually I've been here all along, just takin' my time and sorting out my headspace. These two months after the wedding have been the first time I was really able to dwell peacefully within my space. No more wedding planning, no planning for the future business-wise...for the first time ever I felt like a regular-ol' adult, just working, deciding what to do in my spare time and enjoying relaxing nights and weekends with my husband.
But now - now it's cave time! I'm not sure we coined the phrase; our friend and mentor mentioned it to us last November when we were unemployed and figuring out what to do with our lives. The cold and dreary weather lends itself perfectly to hunkering down, laying low, and thinking about and even planning the year ahead. I don't know why I feel the urge to write more during this cave time; I know all this pondering makes me very introspective and I feel like I need to get it all out instead of dwelling on it more.

So! In that, I've been trying to figure out what the DPD means to me. At first it was a chronicling of my return to my family's farm. Then it was finding my way after I left. Then it was a bit of wedding planning, but not much detail. So, now that I'm a married working woman, now what? I dont' think I'm THAT interesting to drop 'this is what I did today,' but I think I DO have some fun stuff up my sleeve. The local food movement, for one. Cheese, for another (turns out I know more about it than I thought). Our wedding was pretty epic, so I'll probably chat about that a bit. So, you know, I think I'll be back on the blog wagon for a while. Thanks to the few readers who keep bugging me about writing again. :)

More Wedding Pictures!

2009-11-04T12:21:00.000-08:00

We still haven't taken the film in from our 'official' pictures (taken by our close and very talented friend Carlos), but here's a few more pics, borrowed from our flickr group pool...

*Those are my shoes under my chair...the ground was soggy and I wanted to be able to change out of my uber hot navy heels.

That's our signature 'book,' a canvas with the tree from our invites printed on it. Guests' thumbprints and signatures are the leaves. *Idea blatantly stolen from here.

We didn't have the budget for a photographer and ran short on time and money for the diy photo booth, so we borrowed the idea from 2000 Dollar Wedding and just asked everyone to upload their photos to the pool. I think you have to join the group to be able to see everyone's photos, and we haven't told all of our guests that there's a hub to view and upload, so check back soon or subscribe to the RSS if you want to keep updated. Someone we don't even know has already made our 'arriving by bike' pic a favorite. It's one of ours, too! :)

Halloween Shmalloween

2009-11-01T19:25:00.002-08:00

I must be getting old. Normally, Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year - mostly because my birthday's two days later so I grew up with (and try to continue) Halloween-themed birthday parties.

But this year we were exhausted and I'd been hit broadside by some sort of bug. So we did the bah humbug route (can you say that in relation to Halloween?), bought some candy and sat on the couch drinking red wine and watching a stupid Halloween movie. We couldn't even muster up the strength to get a real freakin' Halloween movie for cryin' out loud. Have you ever seen Hostel? Here's a tip: don't. And don't especially while eating a chicken burrito. Just sayin'.

Last Halloween we were stuck at the farm, burning the midnight oil to get ready for our (unbeknownst to us at the time) last farmers market (our last one selling cheese, anyway). Man, what a wild year it's been!

I'll leave you with a link to my grandma's blog. Her post was the first thing I read Halloween morning, and the picture that she chose pretty much solidified my belief that I have the coolest grandma in the world.

So... Married, Huh?

2009-10-20T13:02:00.000-07:00

I am married. I'm married! It was the most perfect, beautiful, relaxed, love-filled day I have ever, EVER experienced.

I don't know where to start, really...from the love of friends and family that helped it all come together, to the incredible food, to how amazingly incredibly *US* it all was... so I'll just post a few pics and then I'll organize my thoughts. K? K.

We rode in on a tandem to Barry Louis Parker's "All I Want is You" (from the Juno soundtrack)Honestly. Never happier in my life. And no daytime celebration is complete without beermosas. A surprising hit.

We're still organizing and grouping photos, but you can see the rest from this set here. :)

So...

2009-10-12T07:29:00.000-07:00

I'm getting married in 5 days. Right after the remnants of a typhoon smack the area with at least 2 inches of rain. But whatever, right? We rented the barn on the site property just in case. How'd we get to be such responsible adults? Scary.

We've had a lot going on, obviously, putting this shindig on ourselves. We're trading our marketing services for catering, which rocks with the budget but also makes time a little scarce. I'm so happy we're doing this now, but I really wish we could have invited everyone we initially wanted to (the list made its way to about 350 people). Budget and space sort of dictated we keep it confined to immediate family and close friends, but our backup plan is to have a huge, kickass party and invite everyone we want when we get our own farm (the planning of which will pick up again right after the wedding).

Anyway, sorry for being MIA, but I'll regroup and recap in, say, 10 days or so? Eh? Wish us luck!

I Get Comedy...

2009-08-17T17:10:00.001-07:00

With our ill-timed Netflix returns leaving us with nothing to watch on a Sunday evening, I was told to pick the evening's entertainment from our horde of DVDs. I was tired and a bit mopey and not really feelin' what our cache had to offer, until I stumbled upon what I consider to be my Holy Grail of depth-of-doldrums salvation: The first Season of Cartoon Network's Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law.
As I leaned back in the couch, simultaneously wiping laugh-tears from my eyes and clutching my abdomen, reciting the classic lines like, "X, the Eliminator, the Eliminator the EliminaTORRRR!" and Dr. Reducto's, "Your pimento is slipping," I gave John one of those "eh?" faces that you give someone when you're sharing in comedic gold. Only, it appeared this uproar was alll on this side of the couch. He gave me a shrug.

"I just don't think I ever got Harvey Birdman," he said. "I'm not sure why people think it's so funny."

Hm.
I see.
Well.

This from a man who claims to "get comedy" (and even goes so far as to assert that comedy "gets" him). And so it appears a dilemma has arisen. My choices seem to be:

A. Fall even more madly in love with a man who patiently sits through an entire disc of cartoon episodes he doesn't thoroughly enjoy, just to ensure my happiness.

B. Haul our happy selves to some pre-marital counseling stat before all hell breaks loose! I mean, come on! You think you know someone!

Home

2009-08-15T10:32:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, we headed to Sacramento to see my friend who publishes SubMerge, the bi-weekly entertainment magazine. I do a little satellite editing for her on the weekends and, in return, she offered to help us design or wedding invites. Perfect trade-off!

The invites were a snap; we had what we wanted within maybe an hour (a wordsmith marrying a designer? Priceless!). So we headed out to sushi (at Tamaya on J St. Go! It's amazing!) and then caught a comedy show. Then we old fogeys went to bed because, well, we're old and we can't stay up and be rowdy like we used to...and also because I lost my driver's license a bit ago and passports are not acceptable means to get past the cornfed bouncers at most Downtown Sac nightspots. Anywho.

Sunday we went with our other Sacramento buddies to Dad's Kitchen for brunch (good, but not as good as I'd hoped. And really, who stops serving breakfast at noon on Sundays? Can't a girl get some eggs at 1?) and then headed to the epicenter of Sacramento shopping: the Galleria at Roseville.

But this was no ordinary shopping mall trip (mostly because I don't do those; I'm not really a shopper, in case you haven't guessed). Today we were creating our wedding registry. We'd gone back and forth on the whole registry thing. A. at Accordians and Lace posted about the wavering of 'asking for stuff' that pretty much echos my sentiments exactly, so I won't spend time trying to rewrite what she said into my own words. But we, like she and her guy conceded, "knew that our families very much wanted a registry and take great pleasure in the idea of helping us start our marriage with an equipped home." So, off to Crate and Barrel we headed.

Whew. Boy. Um...wow. Can I just say, I'm not exactly sure who this new Mandy is, but I'm a little excited and nervous about her. I've even asked recently married friends, "is this sort of change normal?" I have visions of baking. Yes, baking (hell, if I can make 200 pounds of artisan cheese at a time, why not attempt cakes and pies?). And entertaining. Maybe even making a lasagna or something. Really, just relishing my time at home.

As we walked through the store with our little gun and checkoff sheet, I got a little tingly about these things that will actually help us build a home. We've made due with the odds and ends we've both contributed to our little schizophrenic abode with our hand-me-down bed and plates and dorm room kitchen table. John, it must be said, is so amazing when it comes to design and has compiled hundreds of 'inspiration boards' for what he sees for our home. They are incredible and classically modern... and doable, really. So now, for whatever reason, I'm catching up and am SO ready to make a home and live with our 3-legged dog and our weird cat within the warm space that we're creating.

Is this part of that "change" that married people talk about when they try to explain the deep, inherent benefits of actually saying I Do? I won't suddenly become June Cleaver, will I? Any married folks lurking who felt the switch of domesticity after they finally caved and admitted they would like that set of bowls or dutch oven or 'real' knives?

Aflutter

2009-07-05T10:22:00.000-07:00

"I've been waiting for a new blog post," my aunt IMed me the other day.

"I don't really know what to say," I said. "There's so much going on."

"What if you just wrote about, 'this is my life and what's going on in it,'" she said.

"Oh. Right. I guess I could prolly do that."

So! This is my life and what's going on in it. Take one.

Right now it can probably be segmented into a few parts:

1. I'm getting married to an amazing man and figuring out how to make that happen with the tiniest budget of all time. But it's coming together!

2. I'm the office manager for a coffee distributor and I freakin' love it. It's like working with family without all the trust issues.

3. My farmer in crime, a 'city boy' who moved to Chico from Pasadena 15 years ago, now gets to work full time on a farm for one of the coolest organic farming families around. Even though my days are sometimes highlighted by chocolate tastings (the company I work for also supplies various chocolate sauces and flavored syrups for cafes), I'm very often jealous of his job. Especially when he's building houses for the ducks they'll soon be raising in the rice paddies. See? Uber jealous.

4. I forget what a big deal getting married is for our families. We've had lots of family visitors in the last couple weeks, including both of our dads and their families. Super fun to catch up and show them around 'our town,' but even more special to show them where we're getting married. Who'd have thought?

5. I've been on twitter a bunch (@dairyprincess if you wanna follow), but mostly to watch what's going on in the sustainable food movement. Sometimes I get so jazzed to see what people are talking about, good and bad. I'm in a funny position, believing in sustainable ag for our small farm but coming from a 'conventional' ag background. I just like to lurk and watch what people are saying. We're at a crossroads in food production, methinks. What a perfect time to jump in!

6. We're onto phase two in the farm plan: financing. Yikes. I know it seems like we've been working on the business plan forever - 'when are you going to have that thing done' gets bantered around a lot - but I'll let you in on a secret: we're severely undercapitalized. Like, maybe if we could buy a farm with beans we'd be set. So we've gotta have this thing airtight and awesome otherwise we'll just always be dreaming. And we'd most definitely rather be farming. So, we've got some irons in the fire, feelin' out some creative financing/investing/lending sort of scenarios and are moving ahead!

Yeah, so. That's me in a nutshell.

No, this is me in a nutshell: "Help, I'm in a nutshell and I can't get out!"

All Things Etsy

2009-06-21T10:34:00.000-07:00

A bonus to my growing enthrallment with a few very practical brides and their blogs has been my newfound infatuation with Etsy. I'd dabbled here and there on the handmade and vintage hub before (our friends who make the greatest handbags and wallets out of used chicken feed bags had a shop there for a spell), but lately with the wedding I have been just a teensy bit obsessed.

I peruse the fascinators and birdcage veils for way, way too long.

*Photo from Satanica's shop via stephanie williams photography.

*Photo from PinMeUpCouture

We're pretty sure we're getting these rings from Titaniumknights.

Sometimes I just enter "wedding" into the search box and see what pops up.

Oh, and I also follow the etsy wedding blog, where jen will often do the perusing for you and compile a list of themed content with links to their shops!

Just last week, she hosted a custom canvas giveaway with Stephanie from GeeZees, who makes the greatest custom word-art canvases.

The rules were simple: tell them what you would have printed on your custom canvas. That was it! Oh man, there were so many great entries. A couple made me cry. We'd just gotten back from our wedding site and were daydreaming about the fun parts of the wedding (it's not a very traditional site; I think we're the second wedding to be held there, but it is SO us), namely our entrance. So, without even thinking I'd come close to the other 98 entries, I added my own:

We're going to enter the ceremony at an old historic ranch house by riding our bikes to the opening song from Juno up a long country driveway. I have this image in my head of us laughing and riding together with streamers and dust trailing behind. I'd love a pic of that, streamers and all, with a line from our first dance, "In spite of ourselves," by John Prine: "In spite of ourselves, we'll end up sittin' on a rainbow."

Cute, huh? We're very excited about it, actually. Logistically, we may need to add a few details, like maybe a friend can ride me in because my dress is knee-length and covered in feathers (I know, I'm dropping these nonchalant wedding hints like I've told everyone a million times. I'll fill in the blanks in another post).

Long story short, I was a finalist in the contest! It came down to a vote - and, to be honest, I thought Emie's entry was by far the most deserving, which is why I'm so glad she won! (She's also getting married a day after we are. Crazy, huh?)

We may still go for that idea, because now it's in my head and I can see it on the wall of our future farmhouse. But in the meantime, I get to pick a pair of earrings from Jen's onesmallstar Etsy shop!

Hmmm...decisions, decisions...

Speaking of Rachael Ray...

2009-05-09T13:27:00.001-07:00

Man, I am really good at putting stuff out there lately!Seems this Wednesday the Rachael Ray daytime show is doing a 'makeover update,' and yours truly is one of the updates! They came by to film earlier this week. Did I or Didn't I keep the sexy, chic, no-rubber-pants-allowed look bestowed upon me by Rachael and fashionista Cojo?

Depending on whether you've seen me at the farmers market lately, you may already know the answer. But given my look at N & E's wedding last weekend (pulled off by a sparkly turquoise scarf and gold bangle earrings with blue hues), you may be in for a surprise. Just sayin'. (If you wanna see some funny pics of the original shoot, check out my grandma's flickr page here.)
So here's what I'm thinking...let's keep this party train rollin'! I mean, we DO have a wedding coming up in October that we are just now starting to buckle down and take seriously. We still DO very much want to have it in a rural setting (or our own farm, though that window is slowly getting narrow by the day), and still be 'us.' Read: quirkily fashionable, local food-centric, community-minded.

So, you know, Rach and Cojo (and RR producers of whom I'm so awfully fond), if you want to help throw a little fun-farm-wedding bash (but if it might be a little less a'la Speidi with the cameras, thx), hit a cheesegirl up!

We Interrupt Our Farm-Life Posts For...

2009-04-25T20:59:00.000-07:00

Girlie-girl time!

Sorry. I have to.

I haven't indulged in girl-like stuff since, well, the Rachael Ray makeover, I guess! And that was fall '07. Wow.

So, here's the dress I'm wearing to N & E's wedding this weekend in San Diego:With the Luciano Padovan peep-toes from the makeover:I'm leaving in, like, two minutes for the airport, but here's just a brief story to remind everyone that even when I attempt to be a girlie-girl every two years, fate steps in to remind me I should not even try to stray from my jeans-and-tees persona:

Last night I came home and there was water just shooting out of the ground, like a sprinkler, only there was no sprinkler there! Something was busted, but I couldn't figure out what. I'd gone into work at 6:45 AM, after getting John ready to leave for SD until midnight (he left a day before me with his mom), hoping to get everything done in time to leave early and do a little more shopping (something to wear to the rehearsal dinner). But I ended up staying a full day and THEN going shopping until late, so when I came home it was pitch black and all I could hear was the water slapping against the cement basketball court.

I called John, because he'd talked about rigging up the sprinklers so that they'd water his bonsais when they came on in the morning, but he said no, obviously something was busted, and he had me turn off the water source for the backyard. Tried that; I still had a geyser shooting out of the ground, so I had to turn off the main water line to the house!

Here's the thing: Last night was my night alone to do all my pre-special-event grooming and hair and makeup trials (foot scrubbing, eyebrow tweezing, all the stuff I normally neglect but am very diligent about when the occasion arises), but instead I had to quickly take a shower, THEN put on some grubby clothes and dig out the faucet for the main line that was buried in about 4 inches of mud and canna roots. I finally got the water off at about 11 PM, washed my hands in a bowl of water I'd thought ahead to fill and went straight to bed.

When I called John after the ordeal, we both chuckled and figured it was a little bit of fate telling me, "if you're really going to own a farm, well, learn to deal with it, Ms. J. Crew dress and Padovan peep-toes!" Fine, fine. All I'm saying is, fate, you couldn't wait til I had my toenails painted? Cripes.

I'm off!

Why Are We Doing This, Again?

2009-04-19T10:13:00.001-07:00

We've both been putting in some long, hard hours at our respective jobs, lately. So much so that our Betterfit planning has become sluggish (I'm supposed to be doing p&l spreadsheets right now, actually). I've sort of eased back into my old suburban lifestyle, meeting friends for drinks on Friday nights instead of staying at the farm late to get ready for farmers markets; sleeping in on Sundays and savoring a couple cups of coffee; taking the tripod (3-legged dog, remember) to dog park; watching movies.

"Would we be happy just living in town, close to the park, and going to the farmers market on Saturdays?" John asked the other day.

He was testing me. We both knew the answer. I'm dong OK in this "new" non-farm life because, well, I'm just easily adaptable and no stranger to hard work. But there isn't a day that goes by that we don't dream, talk, plan the future of our farm. It's just going to happen. Sure, we're not aggressively getting the plan finished. We've definitely talked that we're losing momentum; I get a little embarassed that we don't have a whole lot to report when friends/supporters ask us how it's going.

But just give up? Absolutely not. Especially when half the town of Chico is rooting for us. And in case we even for a second thought that we'd do just fine as 'townies' in our little village, I wanted to re-read my blog post from last spring - when we both realized we were in this for good:

http://californiacheesemaid.blogspot.com/2008/03/let-games-begin.html

A little nostalgic and yet a little inspiring, no? Alright, enough dwelling. I'm off to do some planning!

"Ketchup"

2009-04-11T18:48:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm pretty good at disappearing from this space for a while and then popping back up again. I didn't realize how busy I really was over the last month until I found myself today thinking about all the fun stuff we could do this afternoon after we both got off work (napping took precedence, instead), and maybe even tomorrow. I haven't had the luxury of deciding my free-time activities in a while! So, what have we been up to? Let's see...

After this post about 'wedding envy,' in which I rattled off the pressure I was feeling from the internet wedding machine to have the MOST PERFECT WEDDING EVER, I've gotten some great advice and offers from family and friends and began to religiously follow A Practical Wedding, who, along with John, has helped me remember why exactly we are getting married in the first place and to 'keep my eye on the prize.'

That helped us move on to working on THE PLAN, our proposed business plan for Betterfit Ra nch that will hopefully help us garner some funding to be able to realize our dream of running our own small, diversified, sustainable farm (and cheeseplant!). Trying to do both the wedding and the plan was daunting and so we'd end up exhausted on the couch eating John's homemade Vietnamese noodles and watching the Sopranos (we're down to the last two episodes! We don't have TV, remember?) and not planning for either. So we agreed to focus on the plan in order to have it mostly finished by John's brother's wedding (May 2), then focus on our big day after that. That plan is working nicely, so far.

I haven't mentioned yet that we were beating ourselves up for not working on either set of plans after each of us worked at least a 10-hour day at our respective jobs (John the cute and oh-so-NOT-typical ranch-hand at Massa Organics; me the office coordinator at an amazing local company) and then did freelance sales/marketing work on the weekends for various friends. Pair that with catching up on our finances from being unemployed this winter and we are just exhausted come sundown. Blogging? Me? With my loquaciousness, there was no way I was even emailing or returning phone calls! (Sorry for that, btw, if I owe you either one of those. It wasn't intentional; I'm terrible at communication when I'm not in control of my life, but I'm catching up this week, promise. I'll get atcha shortly.)

We DID, however, have a great, albeit brief visit from my little sister from Reno a couple weeks ago. I haven't seen her in way too long and it was great to catch up and just hang. I'm excited to do it again soon, maybe even with the whole fam (not the cheesemaking fam...that was my mom and step-dad, and we don't talk, remember? "Reno fam" is my dad, step-mom and two 'little' sisters, who are 19 & almost 16. Yeesh.)

I also had some time to hang solo with my grandma last weekend, whom I love love LOVE tremendously and should see more often. We have a great bond, grandma and me, and we had such a great time visiting the 'regular' restaurants we always haunt upon my visits home. I believe grandma took maybe a million pictures of me as I was growing up, and she decided last Christmas that since I'm getting married she would bestow upon me her treasure trove of my life in pictures. Holy smokes, did we have a field day reliving old memories!

I've got to say, I was pretty frickin' adorable - from 2 - 6, maybe, then the awkward years really settled in. Props to my mom, too, for adding to that by giving me a shaggy short haircut at the exact same time I preferred to wear double-denim and all-things-dinosaur. "You looked like a boy," John teased. Sure did, honey. Thanks.

This post makes everything sound so easy-breezy, but I swear I do not know where the weeks have gone! I'm excited that we've worked enough to be able to catch up on our bills and now can relax a little and reconnect. Maybe we'll even get a little backpack-chair time with the dog in the park tomorrow!

One Word Challenge

2009-03-02T20:14:00.000-08:00

So, I totally failed last month, but this month I'm going to try to take part in the Shutter Sisters' One Word Project. The gist: each month has a descriptive word; you take and post (theoretically) one picture a day that symbolizes that word. This month the word is beautiful. So here's my pic of the day...

This is a plant we brought home from my grandfather's funeral May before last. It does so well on our back porch; I just let it grow. :) Shh...I actually took it on Super Bowl Sunday. But I'll get in the swing of daily photography shortly. Today I'm lucky enough just to post on a weeknight!

Before You Go Into Business With Family...

2009-03-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

Last week I spoke on a panel at the Cheese Conference in Sonoma. It was an amazing panel, but more on that another time. For my final question, Gordon, the moderator, asked me what I learned from my time at Pedrozos and if I would do anything differently. Since the panel was about supporting small cheesemakers through creative marketing and consumer education, of course I had a good answer about how I thought we were on the right track as far as marketing and sales went and that I'd probably go that same route when we got our own place up and running. But if the panel were titled, 'going into the cheese business with your family,' well, that answer would have been completely different. And so, if I may, I'd like to offer a few things I learned about going into business with family that I wish I would have thought long and hard about before I jumped in (note: they are very personally tailored, but I would bet they're more universal than people think):

1. Is the business in trouble financially? Chances are, the problems are a lot bigger than you think. And while you think you'll be able to make it work, because all the right pieces are there and it's just a matter of better management and a change in direction or marketing, you may be walking into your own bailout scenario - where the owners don't necessarily agree with the direction you want to go, they'd rather do things the way they've done them unprofitably for several years, but your way sounds good enough to get lending and secure a chunk of cash to move forward so they'll go along with it for a while. Ask to see all the books, and if you need to, go to a professional to get an assessment of the real situation.

2. Write up an employment or partnership agreement. If you're an employee, you're an employee, and you need to be treated like one. Agree on hours, rate of pay, job duties, etc. just as if you were going into a regular job. Do it BEFORE YOU START WORK. Don't think that because they're family it will all work out at some point. In fact, think just the opposite. An agreement saves everyone involved from making emotionally based decisions when things get hard. You'll always be able to reference that agreement and keep all the old family baggage out of the mix.

If you're going in as a partner, a partnership agreement needs to list out all of the above, but also include what portion of the business you will own in exchange for your monetary or sweat equity. If the business isn't yet profitable, and you're not actually going in with your own money, you should still have an agreement that outlines what your sweat equity is worth and the benchmarks that need to be achieved in order to attain such equity. DO NOT ASSUME IT IS COMING TO YOU, OR THAT IT WILL ALL COME OUT IN THE WASH. Remember, an agreement is not an issue of trust; asking for an agreement does not mean you think things will end badly. It gives you the tools to work through situations that can more easily be mired by baggage and emotions. (This is especially good to remember if you've answered yes to No. 1.)

3. Talk about past family issues with a professional before going in. This may help you to write up that agreement, or to set boundaries when you're actually working. Don't assume that because those issues haven't risen their ugly heads in a while that they don't linger. And don't assume that now that everyone's adults you've all reached a new level of mutual understanding. For many parents, you're still their child, whether you're 17, 27, or 47. They may have a hard time not relating a mistake you made on the job with a similar dumb mistake you made in high school. And if you have something to prove, want to make them proud, think this will earn their respect, or just don't want to see them fail and have to sell their business and move your siblings away from their friends (or you think it's your family obligation to make sure that scenario doesn't happen) - well, you probably won't even put those things together at the forefront when the excitement of this partnership is beginning, but they may be plain as day when things go south. So maybe invest a little time and money to re-examine those issues before going in.

4. Do not seek out investors on your own. Or if you do, make sure the investment becomes your equity share in the business. This is especially true if you don't have a partnership agreement in writing. If you've personally sought an investor, built a relationship and done all the legwork, and that investor puts their money directly into the business and not through you, you are left with absolutely nothing if the working agreement with your family goes sour. In fact, you're not only left with nothing, but your relationship with that investor may need to be mended.

5. Do NOT do the books. Or, if you do, insist that they participate in the bookkeeping. If they are the owners, they need to sign the checks, pay the bills, open the mail, count the money that is received. If they're applying for lending, they need to do the paperwork and understand the figures. If they have a hard time understanding those things or just don't want to do them, hire a professional. Do NOT take it on. Money is a dangerous, dangerous subject that can turn even the best relationships. When the situation gets ugly, if they've willingly been un-involved in the bookkeeping thus far, it's just a hop, skip and a jump to accusations of stealing or embezzlement. No, I'm not kidding.

I'm sure I have more, but these are the biggies. Four months out with nary a word from my parents has given me a lot of time to think about my two years there and all those red flags I should have probably acknowledged, at least. That whole hindsight thing is a killer. More than anything, I wish we'd had an agreement. I wish I didn't trust them enough to think that once we got over the hump of the business securing working capital funding and actually starting to become successful that I would always have a place there. I also wish I didn't just assume they knew or understood all I was doing for them - and that they appreciated it. And, in hindsight, I wish I'd set boundaries and didn't shoulder the responsibility for their business's success, because it just was never good enough.

Ah, well. What're you gonna do, right? With the economy the way it is, and so many jobs being shed, I wonder if people think it'll be easier to go into business for themselves and with friends/family than to continue the job search. I only hope that if anyone stumbles across this post at some point that it really makes them pause to think about their future in the family business.

Wedding Envy

2009-02-28T10:54:00.000-08:00

As you may or may not recall, to cap this crazy whirlwind life we seem to lead, John and I are getting married this October! We were engaged while we were in Italy last October for Terra Madre. It was the most romantic proposal - in Valentino Park, "the park for lovers," our host family gushed. John carried the ring around in his sock during our whole day of sightseeing with Franca and Toto, then after they dropped us off with a knowing "enjoy your promenade!" (they were in on the deal), he popped the question on bended knee among the beautiful autumn colors and rushing creek. He was so nervous. "I'd like for you to marry me, and I'd like for you to say yes," he said.

(I had to borrow this pic from Webshots...we were so giddy we didn't take ANY pictures of the park!)

The night before we left for Italy, our family's business conflict resolution coach gave everyone the task to really think about our personal values and dreams, because even then things were at a boiling point. What a gift! We came back engaged and exhilirated to be a part of the new food movement. When we were fired just a week after our return, told we were 'just not a good fit for the company,' of course we were stung, confused, angry, all of the above. Apparently my folks decided that our values and theirs just didn't mesh. But with Italy still on our mind and the love and support from our community, we maintained a "what'reyougonnado" attitude, decided to start Betterfit Ranch, continue our dream of a small diversified farm without all the drama and self-entitlement attached, throw that positive energy out there and decide that there was no reason we shouldn't be married this fall, during our favorite time of year in Chico. We even toyed with the idea that it could be on our own farm.

Just a lighthearted affair with our friends, the family we still talk to, and our community-family, and definitely a focus on food...'cause, you know, that's what we do. But then a girlfriend gave me a Martha Stewart Weddings magazine as an engagement gift. Then I let myself look at wedding dresses, because it was ok do to now (before the engagement, it just would've been weird). Then blogs. Then the ads on my Facebook page were all about weddings because of my relationship status. Then I set a google alert for "budget wedding planning" just to get a feel for what I was in for. And friends are asking questions about the planning. And John's brother is having the wedding of the year this May in San Diego. And now I have wedding envy.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. I'm a no-frills kind of girl! I don't need pomp or circumstance or oodles of money or rehearsal dinners or picture-perfect outdoor settings. I eschew the conventional. I have a quirky urban-meets-farm-girl style, with a bias toward jeans and flip flops (or rubber boots). I don't need Save the Date cards, or a Pronovios gown, or a calligrapher or the perfect cake or favors themed after our trip to Italy. Right? RIGHT?! I don't need to get my nails done or grow out my hair just because it's my ONE DAY, right?

And what if we feel closer to our farmers market family than we do blood relatives? Who gets the invite? Who gets the axe? If I had it my way, there'd be flyers at all the farmers market booths on Saturday, with maps to the wedding and anyone who knew us could drop in and celebrate. Why can't we just have one giant, long table that extends through a field somewhere and everyone eats and everyone drinks and we all just remember the best, drama-less party of the year at which two people just happened to proclaim their undying love for each other?

But damn these girls who proclaim these same values but still throw down $30k for the "perfect laid-back wedding." I'm feeling very Veruca Salt about the whole thing and need somebody to reign me back in. I want special, not courthouse, but not over-the-top. I want the people I cherish there, not the ones who feel obliged. I want a party, and laughs and good food and memories for days and days and days to come. I want to be able to afford it all. I want, I want, I want...Ugh.

I know what matters. Truly, I do. What makes even the most even-keeled feel obligated to have the perfect wedding? I blame the wedding industry and their damn 'inspirational boards.' Who, even in these economic times seems to be doing quite well, thankyouverymuch. Why else would I get 25 google alerts per day for budget wedding planning?

Getting it all out there seems to be helping. I feel better already. Whew. Ok. I'm back. Thanks for that.

Back in The Saddle...I Think?

2009-02-28T10:11:00.000-08:00

Sigh. Where does the time go? I'm online, I read blogs, I think about meaningful-and-not-so-meaningful posts. I make lists of what I think I'd like to write about. Then I come home, have a little dinner and watch the Sopranos. I zone out. Hash over money stuff with John. Facebook. Talk about the future of Betterfit. Wonder about the next step to take with the Pedrozos. I want to write, feel the need to write, discern that I do, indeed, have things to say that people might find enjoyable and/or interesting...but then, I just, don't. It's all up here in my noggin.

Sigh. The classic inner battle of self-conscious writers. I should just get it all out, right? Not worry about what people will think. Just blog. Sheesh, it doesn't have to be perfect every time. I should really work on this perfectionist thing. Maybe today will be my big writers block break. What was it my journalism teacher used to say? "Just throw up on the page." Gross. But fitting, I suppose. Good imagery to get the juices flowing.

Where the Road Leads

2009-02-15T10:50:00.001-08:00

We came home from a fun get-together last night, filled to the brim with good food, great wine, and that overwhelming sense of family and community that continues to grow for the two of us. Dancing in the kitchen in our stocking feet and bubbling with happiness (and, likely, the red wine), we expressed not only our love for each other, but for so many in this town (our "village") that continue to shower us with love and support. We have a sense of place here; oftentimes our community makes us feel we're an integral part of its present and future. What an incredible place to be!

When I applied for my new job, the thought of writing a resume all over again was so daunting. I suppose I naively assumed when I returned to the family farm that I would never have to worry about one of those silly old things again. (P.S., I'm brewing a list of things to consider before going into business with your family. That will definitely be one of them!) But going over my nearly 10 years in Chico was sort of a pride-filled walk down memory lane. No wonder I feel such a place in my community... almost everything I've done (save that seasonal temp job in the shoe department at Mervyn's) has been connected somehow!

I thought I'd connect the dots here, because now that I've been removed from the family farm fallout for a few months, I've come to realize that it was just another stretch of road on my journey, not a beginning or an end.

Last night, in our giddy stupor, John announced that we were put on this planet to meet each other, build Betterfit Ranch (Or BFR, as we've been so affectionately acronymmed), and, to paraphrase, be awesome participating members of our community. I've never really posed the question of the existence of destiny to myself, but after revisiting my own yellow brick road (sorry, I just finished reading Wicked), I'd have to say all signs point to yes. I was going to start retelling my journey from the beginning, but since I'd like it to stretch out over a series of posts (so you won't get bored; I've been called loquacious a time or two), and I don't want to lose the excitement of last night, I'll start with the most recent dots.

So, my new bosses are small business owners in the community; we actually met them when their group of friends visited the farm on a bus tour in September '07. Their good friend is a caterer in town who we knew from the farmers market, and was the first to enlist the freelance communication services of BFR (she coined the acronym) when we were freshly fired from Pedrozos. She is so fabulous and great and creative... she quickly became our good friend too, and alerted us to the job opening I subsequently filled. Last night, we had a fun round of drinks and eats at the caterer's shop with who else but my new bosses, a friend and former coworker from my old magazine days (who I also talked in to relief milking a time or two), and a slew of the friends from that rowdy bus tour...not to mention the infamous local bakers whom we'd never met but had already decided to pursue for our wedding cake.

Neat, huh? Though we met most of those people through our time on the dairy, I'm learning that the setting of how we met isn't that important; it's what we've done with those relationships since then that make the difference. At some point, we'll forget how we even met at all--was it at the market? Through the magazine? In the shoe department at Mervyn's?--and we'll eat and drink and laugh around our big wooden table on our own family farm.

Ok, so, first installment of dot-connecting is done. Let's see...I started with my latest move from the family farm to my new job, so I guess if I'm working backward, next up is my leap from magazine editing to the family farm. What a trip!

Lazy Saturdays

2009-02-07T16:21:00.000-08:00

I just capped my third "regular" workweek (read: 40 hours over 5 days, instead of 80 hours over 7), and I've gotta say I'm having a tough time adjusting to my new schedule!

You mean, I not only have an entire Saturday to get chores done around the house...but I have Sunday, too? I don't have to schedule my personal life around farmers markets, inventory and on-farm open hours? I mean, I LOVED doing all of that and can't wait to be doing it again, but in the meantime, this is too much! What do I do with all this time?

Granted, today I helped my friend Dubs edit her magazine (that's my story on the front page!) and procrastinated writing my panelist bio for the Sonoma Valley Cheese Conference (sorry, Sheana!), spent an inordinate amount of time on facebook and finally lost the staring contest with the dirty dishes. Part of me feels guilty for not being able to figure out just where the day went...but then the other part of me says, almost in disbelief, "there's always tomorrow!"

I'm going to need to start making different kinds of lists now. Instead of "wash cheese for next week's orders" and "take cheeses out of the brine," it'll be, "clean the garage" and "take more pictures." I'm going to have to learn how to find that balance between having no time at all (where I think I thrive, but probably not as much as I think) and having all the time in the world--well, 48 hours anyway.

"Christmas All Over Again": Gear for My Banjo!

2009-01-27T12:00:00.000-08:00

Three Christmases ago, John bought me a banjo and a stand. I, in turn, bought him a beautiful guitar case. Nevermind the fact that neither one of us played these instruments; we were going to learn them in time to start up a bluegrass band with our friends on our annual week-long houseboat trip. John would play acoustic guitar, I'd take up the banjo, Travis would learn bass guitar, Noel the harmonica, Ash the slide guitar and Elizabeth the washboard - or something like that. I don't really remember, because we still have yet to actually play together.

For reasons still not explained to me, our group of friends began a bit of a rockabilly / bluegrass / hellbilly phase a few years ago. I have my ideas about the origin of this shift from underground hip-hop acts like Murs and Aesop to twangier bands like Old Crow Medicine Show and The Devil Makes Three, but I keep them to myself. It may be the increased consumption of whiskey among all members of the group, but who knows. I do, however, remember the consensus among the group being that our time sitting on the back of the houseboat on Lake Shasta might be enlivened with the help of some foot-stompin' music, and perhaps even an empty jug of Mississippi Mud.

While John's become quite a finger-pickin' guitar player, I have yet to learn the banjo. I got as far as buying an instructional DVD and attempting to learn "Buffalo Gals." But I would run into trouble whenever the song called for a chord change, because without a strap holding up the instrument, I'd have to almost launch it a couple inches prior to changing my finger position, then catch it right on the money. Clearly, I would need a strap to continue my lessons.

But I never could find a strap that I liked enough to spend money on. I didn't want it to look too folksy, and I didn't really dig the leather ones. Alas, when it came time to decide what to buy with our Amazon gift card money, John's first idea was a banjo strap... and tuner! So we splurged on both, and now I have a great little strap, a digital tuner, and my instructional DVD. Pretty soon I'll be pickin' and grinnin'!

Finally, Winter

2009-01-25T10:55:00.000-08:00

It was (finally) a stormy Saturday afternoon yesterday, with rolling thunder and everything. After a full week's worth of training at the new job, I'm finding a sense of normalcy again in routine. We didn't mingle among our friends and local family at the farmers market yesterday. We slept in, cranked the heater to 68, tinkered on the computers a bit, napped, and remained bundled in the house all day. Even California, the three-legged dog, took advantage of our lazy Saturday and snored all afternoon in her chair.

The clouds broke around 4 PM, and we were treated to the most spectacular show of colors, complete with the elusive double rainbow that beamed over our little village.

The geraniums haven't known whether to make heads or tails of this weather; they were coaxed out of hibernation by last week's spring-like tease, only to be rained upon for an entire afternoon. I like to think the rain was a welcome treat for them, too; that they turned their velvety petals skyward to admire the rainbow with us.

Growth in Creativity

2009-01-24T15:04:00.000-08:00

This time home alone over the last couple months has really sparked an internal dialogue about the creative part of me. I've never considered myself creative, really. I've always enjoyed writing, and I know as a child I had a pretty wacky imagination. But I've always envied artistic people...the ones who can create from the soul; who, to me, have always had this untouchable gift of being able to see the world through a different lens, to feel the world through a different touch.

My hypothesis is that I peaked at an early age. I was a smartie pants growing up - I learned to read at three and started piano lessons at four. Those things came naturally to me. In a way, I think that spoiled me into thinking that if I wasn't good at something straight away, I must not have been meant to do it. I grew up with an incredible fear of failing, so I'd just brush creative endeavors aside and sigh, "I wish I could do that, I just don't know how."

Cheesemaking, though, brought a lot of that trepidation out of me. I had to make cheese. It wasn't something I felt a calling or passion for at first, it was just in my job description when I started my new job. My first few batches were terrible. Oh, they were awful. But I couldn't quit; that was my family's livelihood. So I made more batches, and still more, and I began to understand that not only did I need to be patient, but I needed to be ok with my mistakes and learn from them. I wasn't in charge of the process; I was a corps dancer in a ballet of milk, cultures, temperature and temperment.

Pretty soon, I wasn't just making cheese to make a buck, I was creating from my soul. I began to consider myself creative...artistic, even. I could make cheese for the rest of my life and always be on this journey of creativity, learning from the myriad variables that would make the slightest hints of difference in this living organism. I started to dream of new cheese concoctions, even planning to experiment with different processes. When I was bogged down with paperwork to close the loan and I wasn't able to make cheese, I missed it terribly. I miss it terribly now. But I've been wondering to myself: is it the cheesemaking I miss, or did cheesemaking awaken this creative side of me that can't be quelled?

Last Saturday, I stumbled upon the Shutter Sisters, a blog that champions women photographers. But it's so much more than that; it's a sorority of sorts, inspiring creativity and welcoming dialogue, offering assistance for novices and showcasing beauty where it might not otherwise be found. Perusing their blog gave me a sense of comfort and of acceptance; I almost felt this collective push from my computer and beyond, supporting me, urging me to go and create. To do! To find beauty in all things, to be present in my creativity, to be ok with my mistakes during the process and to use them as tools in my creative journey.

I didn't run out and take pictures straight away, though I think I will be taking and posting more pictures... perhaps take a class and learn Photoshop. I've only recently begun to enjoy being behind a camera and being able to discern what I find to be "good shots." I have, however, experimented with the camera and its settings a lot more over the last week. I even joined their flickr group, though I'm still a little hesitant to post anything yet.

Today on Shutter Sisters, Paige asked what we've been doing to stay inspired during the winter months. Well, every time I leave their site, I've actually felt a pull to sit down at the piano again. We have a Roland electric piano given to me by my grandma when I first moved to Chico, but I haven't played it as much as I should. Remember that whole peaking early thing? Truth be told, I was a gifted pianist as a child. When I got older and stopped practicing and I wasn't able to sight read as well as I remembered myself being able to do, I shied away from playing. I think I must have forgotten the hours of practicing after school and the weekly piano lessons for 13 years.

My new rule is to play with feeling, and not worry about the notes. If I get them wrong, then the next time I play the song I can worry about the technicalities. But I can't stop in the middle of a song to figure out the notes; I just have to play the song from the soul and keep moving. I can't be perfect all the time. And while I'm playing I can't worry about the bills or the dirty house or the fear that my neighbors will hear me flub the notes. I stop when I'm tired, or when I just can't keep my mind focused anymore. But I've found that a lot of my go-to songs that people would ask me to play as a kid are coming back to me, and I'm starting to make a wish list of sheet music I'd like to have.

So, thanks, Shutter Sisters, for sparking my muse while I take this hiatus from cheesemaking. Rest-assured, I'll be behind the camera a little more often, and just might learn a new Sonata while I'm at it.

Good Thing I Bought A Weekly Planner...

2009-01-21T18:24:00.000-08:00

'Cuz I'm a working girl again! I took a full-time job to help pay the bills while we're putting the Betterfit Plan together. We love freelancing but it's not exactly keeping the lights on, if you know what I mean. Luckily, a couple whose business values and ideals I greatly admire needed an office coordinator. I'm training this week and am so loving my new job.

But this whole new routine is just zapping my energy! All these blog posts that have been swirling about in my brain are just stuck there. There's nowhere for them to go. I'm also embarassingly behind on one of my freelancing projects and feel just terrible about it. I'm thinking after this week everything will even itself out. Until then, so sorry my posts are lacking in witty banter...

"Christmas All Over Again": Charcuterie

2009-01-19T21:08:00.001-08:00

Since we placed our Amazon Bonanza order after Christmas, bits and pieces of our order came in at different times. In essence, we had more than 12 days of Christmas! The latest delivery to grace our doorstep was mostly for John. He hand-chose Charcuterie: The Craft of Salting, Smoking and Curing after we returned from Terra Madre in Italy, and he suffered through some intense cravings for salted meat. This is no flash-in-the-pan interest; raising grass-fed pork was a dream we had for my folks' farm, and one we'll pursue on our own in the near future. But transforming that home- and grass-raised pork into prosciutto, pancetta, sausage or pate...oh my. This book is so incredibly stuffed with such accessible recipes and tips and useful information that I'm half-betting I'll get a call from John this week, saying he's on his way home from picking up curing essentials at the Fatted Calf in Napa (three hours away). I guess that wouldn't be so bad...

"Christmas All Over Again" and A Footnote to Yesterday's Post-Consumer Post

2009-01-16T15:25:00.001-08:00

While it is true that I've become less of a consumer only recently (say, the last year or so), I do still buy things... I just wait a lot longer until I'm absolutely sure I need them. Last fall, I bought two pairs of jeans, two sweaters and a pair of shoes for our trip to Italy. All were necessities for being seen in public outside of my little village - up until that point, I'd gotten away with having two types of wardrobes: cheeseplant/dairy/farmers market and cocktail party/fancy cheese tasting/wedding. The jeans were a first in over two years; the shoes replaced a six-year-old pair of etnies skate shoes that became farm tennies when my pinky toe started to peek out of the side.

But I digress. That was not the intention of this post! My aunt graciously sends me amazon.com gift certificates via email for my milestone gift-giving dates (birthday and xmas). Though I'm not always certain what I want to buy with them, I consider them a godsend. They hang around long enough for me to really be able to decide what I'm finally willing to part with them for. But for the last couple years, we've been so busy thatI never really had a chance to sit and think, "you know what I really want?" then go out and get it for a small shipping and handling fee. So, a portion of my 2007 & 2008 birthday gift cards, plus this year's christmas gift card (with a little more on it, since it was for me AND john. Hello, commitment!) were still unused and begging for some attention.

Just after Christmas, John and I had an Amazon Bonanza day, listed everything we wanted, and went searching through the hallowed online halls of books, kitchen items and garden accessories. We bought more stuff at one time (all needed, mind you) than I can remember buying in a very long time. The list is too long to put in one post, so I'll start with...

Weekly planners from Time Traveler. We wanted the weekly Moleskine with soft cover like we each had last year (until John's flew off the hood of the car never to be seen again...but that's another story), but nobody had them. Nobody! John had a Time Traveler before and loved it. I could do without all the maps in the back - I'm not exactly a world traveler; I don't really need to know the longitude of Uzbekistan - but for the most part, the layout is great, the size is perfect, and I can work with the space for notetaking (though I'll miss the whole page for notes found in Moleskines). Mine came in "Monaco Purple." I think it's super cute!

I accidentally ordered John the "Cordoba Red," which is actually a sort of Merlot-colored 'luxurious sude.' He hates it (thinks it's grandma-ish) and would rather have the brighter "Firenze Red" with the soft faux leather cover. But it didn't look like even Time Traveler themselves will ever have it in stock, and we're awfully picky about our planners, so he took a Sharpie to it to personalize it. My guess is he'll be on the list at Chico's Magna Carta for their next shipment of Moleskines.

More "Christmas All Over Again" items coming soon!

Green Phone Booth: Controlling My Impulses

2009-01-15T20:23:00.000-08:00

Green Phone Booth: Controlling My Impulses

I've been following these green ladies' blog for a while now, but this post really resonated with me. Green Bean has consciously chosen to consume less, due to environmental effects of mass production of 'stuff' that, for the most part, we don't really need - and the earthly consequences of throwing said 'stuff' away when we're done with it.

I've slowly shed my consumer shell, though I'm not sure I have the ability to articulate 'why' just yet. Part of me thinks it's because I'm so involved in my local food community, and subsequently my local community at large, that my priorities have shifted as my circle of friends and associates has grown. I buy local because I want to support my friends - the prices are justifiably higher, so that makes me think twice about what I 'need,' versus what I 'want.'

This feeling of being a conscious consumer is an incredibly gratifying, empowering, grownup sort of feeling. It's nice to hear so many others chime in. :)

Bottling Olive Oil at Lodestar Farms

2009-01-14T09:27:00.001-08:00

We've been doing a lot of freelance marketing and farm work to keep the lights on and continue learning while we search for our own farm. Check out our latest post about bottling olive oil at Oroville's Lodestar Farms on our Betterfit Ranch blog!

False Spring

2009-01-13T21:46:00.001-08:00

This seems an earlier time than most, but Chico always seems to get an early "false spring," where temperatures reach the high 60s and low 70s, and everyone emerges from their holidaze to take a walk, ride a bike, or convene for a cup of joe outside. Why January? Who knows! I seem to remember this happening sometime late February, and always over the St. Patrick's Day weekend. But then we are assaulted for possibly another month afterward with blustery conditions.

It always seems to catch us off-guard; heck, it's taken me nearly 10 years not to fall for this faux balminess. It's a bummer the trees don't learn the same lesson; we're always shaking our heads over the premature blossoms that were coaxed out of hibernation during these warm days, only to get knocked off their branches by pelting rain and forceful gales come April.

But don't get me wrong, we take as much advantage of these sunny days as we can. John spent yesterday working over at Massa Organics, fixing the backhoe and gaining valuable farming knowledge for when we are able to get our own farm.

I sat at the computer at home, doing my own work for the Massa line, chillin' in front of the French doors and letting the slight breeze filter in through the back screen door. I had to make sure our three-legged dog California stayed outside and played, instead of dozing on her chair - no matter how pitifully she stared at me through the glass.

Due to this beautiful weather, I'd be half-inclined to say heck, let's just get married tomorrow in Bidwell Park! That is, of course, if I didn't need to give my awesome aunt in the Netherlands or my friend James in New York so much advanced notice. And, contrary to popular belief, I think I'd actually like an organized wedding, with a gown and flowers and favors and all that girlie stuff (no jordan almonds, tho. period.) - not to mention the fabulous blowout we'll have afterward! How can we be so entrenched in the local food community and not throw a fab party?! :)

But we did manage to set a date today, so I guess we're really getting married! I've actually let myself peek at flowers and dresses, even though I don't think I can afford to even think about stuff yet...but we'll get there, and before we know it, we'll be saying our I Do's...hopefully on our farm!

DTV? Fuhgeddaboutit!

2009-01-09T15:56:00.000-08:00

I'm proud to say that for the last three years I've survived without cable television - not even basic cable! Just the good ol' Top 3, plus PBS, Fox, Telemundo and a lesser version of Fox that used to be called UPN.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for Lifetime movies or even a good What Not to Wear or CSI marathon. I've never been above curling up on the couch for hours on a dismal day and falling asleep to reruns of the Fresh Prince or Law and Order (also, interesting enough, what Chuck Norris named his right and left legs. You're welcome.) - which is exactly why we made the conscious decision not to get cable, thank you very much. I'm not sure, though, if that decision kept me from whiling away in front of the TV any more than putting off getting a wireless router has, up 'til now, kept me from spending hours in front of the computer.

On weeknights, we'd be so exhausted, we would find ourselves just putting up with whatever was on...I mean, it had to be really bad for us to turn it off. To be fair, there are some solid gold shows on these days: Bones, How I Met Your Mother and So You Think You Can Dance (that's right, you heard me). But after they were over, and we were comfy on the couch, we didn't necessarily feel the need to pull ourselves away before the next installment of Whacked Out Sports began.

So, with the whole Digital TV switch, we decided to take it one step further. We'd just not get the converter box. Once the analog signal was gone, it was outta here, and we'd only have our trusty Netflix subscription to get us through those curl-up-on-the-couch times.

I'm not sure if this has happened anywhere else, but our local stations switched on December 22, waaay before the February cutoff date. So we've been without TV for a couple weeks now. Let me rephrase that. We've been without a TV signal. But we've been miles from being without TV. We are now officially addicted to Tony, Carmella, Paulie and the whole famiglia from HBO's The Sopranos. We breezed through Season 1 (Thanks, HBO, for putting only the final episode of the season on one disc, btw) and will start Season 2 tomorrow.

It's an interesting study, this one of 'family' and 'famiglia.' I'm especially intrigued by the theme of "love" in Tony Soprano's view. Duty, honor and love. Classic themes that in some weird way even connect to our situation, though it certainly wasn't the reason I chose that series to start with on our new venture into Netflix-only land. I know, I know. I'm a few years late in getting behind the Sopranos craze. In fact, I think I remember watching the final episode with my old roommates, though I don't think it really spoiled anything.

I've gotten a few recommendations on which series to pick next, though it'll be John's turn and then I can pick the movies we get (We're on the two-disc subscription. One gets to pick the series, the other gets the movies. Compromise, spice of marriage.).

I think this is going to be a great new step, this no-TV thing. $15 a month for all the TV shows and movies I can watch sounds like a pretty good tradeoff in these uncertain times. Plus, I'll just consider it practice for when we're running our own farm with no time for TV!

Freelancing Again...

2009-01-08T22:34:00.000-08:00

Today I conducted my first magazine interview since I quit playing journalist to make cheese a couple years ago. Funny how I was able to pick it back up; though my shorthand's not as good as it used to be. And I still get those pre-interview jitters that they'll think I'm asking all the wrong questions or just find me dumb.

I joked with my editor that it felt like 'old times,' but I couldn't help but find hilarity in what she IM'ed me as she tried to set up the interview: "Sigh. Artists. They're even harder to get a hold of than rappers."

Hahaha...what?! Seriously? I can't even begin to fathom how hard it is to get in touch with a rapper. A farmer with nothing newer than dialup? Sure. But a rapper? I guess two years immersed in farm and cheese life took me a little further from the old days than I thought!

New Year's Tradition at The Banshee

2009-01-07T20:19:00.000-08:00

New Year's Eve 2008 marked our third straight New Year's celebration with our best friends Travis and Ashley on our bench at The Banshee. Our neighborhood pub opened its doors New Year's Eve 2006, and we just happened to stop in that night - just to see what it was all about before we moved onto the next spot. Only, we never left.

The space is the old Stormy's Off Broadway, retrofitted a couple years ago into a cozy pub with only two big wooden tables with benches and a series of stools at the bar. The max capacity is 49, I think?

Anywho, on that night in '06 we snagged not only the very first table as you walk in the door, but the bench at that table that sits against the wall and looks out over the crowd. As the masses poured in - and they did because it was a bar opening in Chico on New Year's Eve - we had the best seat in the house. And we knew, even then, that this bar - with its iPod blasting Flogging Molly (I interviewed them once, dontchaknow) and the Guinness flowing - was going to be our New Year's spot.

Trav and Ash come up from Sacramento every year for our New Year's bench-sitting-at-the-Banshee tradition. Since we don't hang out as much as we did even two years ago, and so much has happened during that time, our initial conversation is mostly filled with responsible adult-talk. But soon we're back on track with the inside jokes and silliness.

And during the rest of the year John and I do our best to maintain regular status at the Banshee by stopping in for a pint after the farmers market, meeting friends for lunch, watching our respective sports teams (Cowboys for me, Lakers for John) and chillin' with the bartenders, who've all happened to become our friends. Maybe that's why they let us dance on our bench after midnight. :)

Puzzle Me This...

2009-01-06T15:55:00.000-08:00

So apparently, life upheaval aside, the waning weeks of December and first week of January are becoming my, "don't really want to do anything because I feel like I have to do everything and it's just so much that I think I'll just lay here with the covers over my head" time.

I posted about my seasonal ennui at almost the same exact time last year. Only then, we'd been faced with be biggest wind storm the area had ever seen and spent four days cooped up in our house with no heat or electricity.

(The other day I was recalling the misfortune of having just seen I Am Legend right before last year's storm struck and the zombie shudder I would get as I dramatically closed up the house each evening at dusk--only, I wasn't trying to protect our home from the undead; just the dead-cold that set in as the sun set.

No, this year began with full power and no storms - not a drop of rain to speak of, really. But that feeling...the feeling that I can't really focus on anything so I might as well devote my entire brain capacity to something frivolous until it's done? Yeah, that was sure back with a vengeance, only this time I think there was more to it.

Last year it was Ken Follett's Pillars of the Earth. John's mom recommended it to me, and it seemed the perfect novel to read during the days of no power - and at night by candlelight, turns out. I was addicted to all one million pages of that book and couldn't put it down until it was finished. I didn't go back to work until I'd read the whole thing.

This year it was a 1,000-piece puzzle that I bought during the last great upheaval of my life but never got around to. It's a beautiful image of flowers in a field, with complex colors and little tricks here and there to make you think the purple irises are all bunched up on one side but instead they're scattered behind different grasses and whatnot.

There was a day after this last Christmas when all of a sudden I was charging into the garage and digging through old boxes until I found the puzzle and set up shop at the dining room table. You know, I was there for 7 hours straight that night? Mad as hell that I was a terrible puzzler, that I couldn't figure it out, that I wasn't making any progress and on top of everything my eyeballs hurt from staring so hard at the damn pieces and when I closed said eyeballs all I saw were fields of Lupine.

On top of that, I felt so guilty for wasting all my time on this stupid puzzle! Here we are, scrambling for every job we can possibly get, borrowing money to pay the bills while we get back on our feet, and I have the nerve to ignore everything and puzzle?! Turns out, John was expecting such a meltdown - I guess it was coming for some time - and had the most encouraging, eloquent explanation to make it seem like that stupid puzzle was the only job I needed to worry about; and once it was finished, well, then it was finished and I could move on.

He compared those thousand pieces of green, yellow and purple (and just enough pink to put this puzzle on expert status) to the pieces of my life that I've kept glued together so stubbornly over these last two months. I don't know if you've caught onto this at all, but being 'together' is sort of my thing. And clearly, things have not been 'together' as much as I'd like them to lately, so this puzzle was a sort of therapy that I guess my brain decided I needed.

So, I puzzled. I puzzled like I've never puzzled before. For hours, with a steady stream of winter beverages at the ready. I tried to joke with our friends when they came over for New Year's, "John says it's a metaphor for my life, heh." Instead of smirking and telling me it's just a stupid puzzle, they said, "Sounds about right. This is a pretty pivotal point in your life. Are you going to glue it together once it's done and frame it?"

Why, yes. Yes I am.

I Really Love My...Cuddl Duds!

2009-01-05T11:52:00.000-08:00

I received two Cuddle Duds shirts and a pair of leggings last year for Christmas and thanked my lucky stars every time I made cheese in January and February. But these 'lady thermals' come in handy for any cold-weather setting, like these crisp January farmers markets or a day working in the orchard...or, you know, just a regular, cold non-farming day out and about...

They're so slim - not bulky at all - and feminine enough that I don't mind if the shirts peek out from under my sweaters. I also wear the long-sleeve shirts under a tee when it's just a tad brisk out. The soft lining captures and maintains my body heat, but I don't sweat at all from feeling 'overlayered.'

The pants are great; but I wouldn't be tempted to wear them in the retro fashion under a skirt or sweater or anything...tempting because they're 'leggings,' but no. Please don't do that. They were made to be worn under pants, that's all I'm saying.

But serious. In these cold winter months, if you don't want to bulk up with layer-upon-layer, but you want to stay warm and not forgo any semblance of feminity, Cuddle Duds are your best bet. Classic colors, a little lace here and there (but not too much! And not on everything!), and nice, soft linings are perfect for warmth without the bulk.

Of Course My Resolution is To...

2009-01-03T12:35:00.000-08:00

Blog more! It's been a crazy last few weeks, and 'blog' has been on my to-do list forever...do you ever have that feeling that there are so many options in front of you that you don't know where to start? I'm not sure what's kept me from blogging, though scrambling for work and putting our new business plan together has taken up a lot of our time the last few weeks. Plus I wasn't sure where I wanted this blog to go... But I know now, and I have tons of fodder for future posts. So, here's to '09! :)

I Haven't Sold You Out...

2008-12-18T15:03:00.000-08:00

A note to those confused by the latest Pedrozo Dairy & Cheese Co. e-newsletter:

When I started as cheesemaker/communications lady for my parents at Pedrozo Dairy & Cheese, I started a little permission-based newsletter list made up mostly, at first, of my personal and business contacts from previous endeavors, just to keep everyone in the loop. That list soon blossomed as we garnered email addresses at various events, including farmers markets, demos and fun-time gigs. You can't imagine the glee I would feel every time that list of contacts reached another milestone; somehow, people we'd met near and far over the years wanted to keep up-to-date on our little cheesemaking family and its progress! I loved, loved, loved writing those newsletters and was so touched to hear your great feedback every single time.

As you may or may not know, John and I were terminated about a month ago; the details are about as hairy as one can expect a family business fallout to be, so I'll spare you unless you really want to know. But, because I started the newsletter as one that came from Pedrozo Dairy & Cheese, and not just Mandy Johnston, legally I could not remove anyone's email address from that list. Those contacts technically belong to the business.

So, I promise, I didn't sell you out. The Pedrozos have chosen to continue their e-newsletter as a means of communication to customers, and there's not much I can do about it anymore.

Longtime friends and fans have asked if they should include comments as to why they're unsubscribing to the newsletter. I think it's absolutely up to you. Feedback is feedback, and the best companies learn and grow from it. :)

I do appreciate the sentiments I've heard thus far (believe me, it was one of the hardest things I've ever read), and it warms my heart to know that John and I have such a strong support system. Thank you.

Organizational Skills

2008-12-01T17:43:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I think this is how it's gonna work from now on:

The Dairy Princess Diaries is going to be my new personal blog and archive of my time at Pedrozo Dairy & Cheese. Fun times, no?

Ah, but there's even MORE fun times to come! John and I have started our own venture, Betterfit Ranch. Our hope is to have our own small, diversified farm (and be married on it!) by next fall. We're going to chronicle our steps to get there on our new blog. And, to raise some cash in the meantime (and to make our future, requisite lenders happy), we're putting our marketing & communication skills to work to help small farms and businesses (even cheesemakers!) who like our style but might not have the time to do all this smarketing stuff we actually find fun.

So! If you want to keep up on all things Mandy Johnston, by all means stick around! If you want to follow the life of John and Mandy while we work toward our own small, sustainable, diversified farm, check out Betterfitranch.com.

I think the rest of the Terra Madre posts will go on the new blog; mostly because I'm at the point in my storytelling where we decided we were in this farming community for life; and that we really have a large, supportive network to pull from. And that sounds like the beginning of Betterfit Ranch to me!

You can also become a fan of Betterfit Ranch on Facebook! Soon there'll be pics on our flickr page too.

John also has his own blog, Food.Form.Function, where he talks about an even greater connection between food and aesthetic and architecture and bikes...it's crazy--and a really fun read. And I'm not just saying that 'cause we're engaged and he's the love of my life and all; he's a very witty guy with hilarious storytelling abilities!

So thanks again for reading all about this last journey, and I hope you follow us on our latest! I will guarantee it's gonna be more exciting...

More on Terra Madre!

2008-11-25T09:10:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the delay! Figuring out your life's next steps takes a little longer than I'd thought, apparently. :)

On to more about our whirlwind trip to Torino as Terra Madre delegates!

So, after we checked in that morning, we had some time to mosey about, so we walked about half-an-hour to the Salone del Gusto, which was being held in the Oval Lingotto. Here's the footbridge that took us across.

Think Italian Fancy Food Show. Really! It was packed full of booths from different regions of Italy, all hyping their area's finest. And the cheese! My, the cheese. Cheese everywhere. Pecorino for miles! We hopped, skipped and jumped from one village cheesemaker to the next. I never thought I wanted to taste cheese again!

Of course I compared my cheese to everyone else's. This cheesemaker wraps his in walnut leaves; this one in herbs. Everyone makes a variety with truffles.

It's funny how some characteristics of producers are constant, even with oceans between us. As we strolled through the booths, I could tell that this cheesemaker, put on the outskirts of his region's series of booths, was mad that that cheesemaker, who also made pecorino, was getting all the traffic and attention. :)

We stumbled and strolled and tasted along the way, blindly sampling warthog sausage here and aged cheese there, until we came upon...
The commerce area - where plates of various cheeses or meats and glasses of wine were purchased for mere euros apiece and enjoyed among strategically placed tables. There were thousands of wines from all over the world to be sampled. Cheese and salumi trays for days! So we randomly selected a red by - no joke - closing our eyes and flipping through the catalog of possibilities, then found a plate each of cheese and salumi and hunkered down.

Before long, it was time to head back to the the Pala Isozaki, where we'd checked in earlier and where the opening ceremonies were about to begin. We still had no idea where we were staying, but at least we'd had a taste of what this week was going to offer!

Disclaimer...

2008-11-12T16:47:00.000-08:00

I guess before I get too far in all of this, I should let you know that John and I are no longer working with my parents. We were told we were 'just not a good fit for the company.'
I'm going to keep my posts about my time there up and running on the blog, just 'cause I'm proud of everything I've learned and accomplished over the last two years.
But for now, I'll just be posting as Mandy, former dairy princess, and no longer as a farmstead cheesemaker (for now).
I'll still chronicle our new life path on these pages, because I'm incredibly excited about the days, weeks, months and years to come! We have so much more to give in this local, sustainable food movement. We're just getting warmed up!
For starters, we'll be selling rice for Massa Organics at the Chico Farmers Market this Saturday, so if you're in the area, please come by their booth and say hello! Don't know if I can say the same for Sacramento, but maybe we'll just mosey about down there on Sunday to say goodbye to our favorite customers if we happen to catch them! :)
You can email me at johnston.mandy@gmail.com too, if you'd like to say hello!
Ciao!

The Maltese

2008-11-12T16:12:00.000-08:00

The first people we met on our fabulous trip to Terra Madre were three culinary students and their instructor from the island of Malta. We all arrived at the Milan Linate airport late at night and were shuttled with our 'resident Italian' volunteer Sylvia two hours away to Bardonecchia, the dorms where all of the Youth delegates were staying.
This was at the base of the Alps, where the Winter Olympics' snow events were held. We didn't get much time to scope out the area, but we did convince the in-house bar to stay open a tad longer and taught the young Italian bartender how to make White Russians.
Then we, the Massas, and our Maltese friends sat around a table and shared our cheese, Massas' organic almonds, and the Maltese's cheese and baked goods. A gourmet, international feast in the dorms after 24 hours of travel. Wasn't this exactly why we applied to be delegates? I hope to remain in touch with our friends from Malta, and if they ever want to study abroad in California, I'll be the first to volunteer to host! :)
We weren't technically supposed to be staying in Bardonecchia, so the next day we boarded the buses with our baggage and all the other youth delegates there to head into Torino, hoping to be able to straighten out our lodging situation. We saw our Maltese friends one other time at the Salone del Gusto, and were embarrassed that they might think we were following them! But over the course of our time there, even though we international delegates were more than 7,000 strong, we ran into the same friends (new and old) over and over again!
Here's a picture of our first day in Torino, as we checked in to get our official badges and said goodbye to our friends for the time being.

We're Here!

2008-11-11T18:35:00.001-08:00

Hi! We're here, I promise!
So much has happened over the last few weeks that I don't even know where to start.
But we're home, we're good, things are ok.
Terra Madre? Awesome! We'll post more soon. We came back with insane, amazing energy.
And with new jewelry. ;) We're engaged!!!
Look for more posts tomorrow on our fabulous, amazing, ridiculously enlightening trip.
Ciao!

I Lost Count...

2008-10-16T07:34:00.000-07:00

Passport Weekend? Huge success! You can read a little snippet about it (and some very kind words about the pedrozos!) here, on Canyon of Cheese.

So sorry to report that I don't have any pictures of the day! We braved 35mph winds throughout most of Saturday, so most of the day was spent on wind patrol (everything was outside this year), and trying to make our guests feel as comfortable as possible.
The wind also kept us from putting up our sign at the intersection of our road and the main thoroughfare, so I was a little worried some may have gotten lost (the map shows us further south than Massa Organic Rice, but we're actually north).

But we enjoyed having the people who did come out! We gave tours, snacked on mini cheeseburgers, had some fab Sierra Nevada beers with our Black Butte Reserve...and the whole family pitched in! While John tirelessly worked both farmers markets solo (Saturday and Sunday), we Pedrozos pitched in together to handle the steady stream of visitors who came our way. Then John came straight to the farm and jumped right in as if he hadn't just worked 8 hours selling cheese! What a guy, eh?

I didn't get a count of how many came...we were supposed to open at 11, but our first visitors arrived at 10:15 both days, and they didn't really stop until 5 PM! So my grand scheme of counting (and it was a good scheme!) sort of flew out the window. I'd say we had at least as many visitors as last year, and that was around 350.

Super Duper special thanks to Tyler and John from Big Bluff Ranch / Barbarosa Ranchers. They're our buddies with the grass-fed beef who grilled up all those great cheeseburgers and hung out with us both days. If you haven't tried Big Bluff's grass-fed beef or lamb, or Barbarosa's chickens, you are SO missing out.

And also Big Thanks to Sierra Nevada Brewery, who gave me the last-minute go-ahead to crack into our Stout that I usually soak the cheese in to be able to pour it for our visitors... with a permit, of course! :)

AND thanks to everyone who came and listened to me blab about cheesemaking and hung out with us for the day! I know, we didn't have as many cheeses available this year as we did last, so to make up for it, we're offering 25% off online sales for the holidays - our other cheeses will be available the first part of December. Just enter PASSPORT in the discount code, and if you have any problems drop me a line. :)

It's Time for Passport Weekend!

2008-10-07T17:03:00.000-07:00

It's about that time again, when local farms and wineries (including Pedrozo Dairy & Cheese) open their doors for a two-day extravaganza of food, drink and fun on the farm!

This self-guided tour of California's Northern Sacramento Valley farms and wineries is not to be missed...there's the eggmobile at Chaffin Family Orchards, the olive oil tasting at Lodestar, the wines at the Abbey of New Clairvaux, even scrumptious rice dishes by our famous neighbors, Massa Organic Rice!

This year, our local Slow Food chapte r will provide lunch from 11 - 1 at Massa's and at Canyon Creek Nursery in Paradise. It's a fabulous menu featuring local ingredients, all for $11.

"What's the big deal about this weekend?" someone asked me this weekend. "Why can't I just do this any weekend I want to?"

Because this is an agriculturally based tour, which means not everyone on the map is open at the same time. This weekend, however, we're all guaranteed to be open from 11 am to 5 pm Saturday and Sunday; and we're all offering something a little special.

For example, Pedrozo Dairy & Cheese will offer the following:

*Pasture Walks at 12:3o PM both days.
*Cheese-y snacks, including mini cheeseburgers with our friends from Big Bluff Ranch
*Cheese and Beer Pairings with our award-winning Black Butte Reserve
*10% discount on all purchases with your Passport
*A rompin' good time with the Pedrozos!

For more information, visit www.sierraoro.org. Passports are $20 in advance, $25 day-of. We're also a starting point, so you can start your day at Pedrozo Dairy and pick up a passport there.

Hope to see you there! Last year was a blast!

To the Home and Garden Show!

2008-10-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

What a week! I have a couple minutes to post, so first:

If you're in the SF area, check out the Tour de Fromage happening today. Read more about it on Bryce's Canyon of Cheese blog.

We somehow made it through closing the loan, having another surprise inspection, milking Thursday night, Friday morning and Friday night, plus getting ready for both farmers markets and the Chico Fall Home & Garden Show. Oh, and I made 200 pounds of cheese solo yesterday. Whew! I'm starting to feel like black coffee isn't doing the trick anymore...suggestions?

I'm off to work the home show! Wish me luck; the health inspector admitted to me this is her first special event, and she'd rather not work on the weekend. I asked if she could pull my file from when I applied to sell at the farmers markets and she said no, she wasn't exactly sure where it was. Fabulous. Something about cheese totally freaks public health inspectors out, so I'm hoping we can come to a meeting of the minds.

Later!

We're Really Gonna Make it to Italy?

2008-10-02T05:41:00.000-07:00

Couldn't sleep this morning; too much on my mind. In the interest of my sanity, I got out of bed and started my day a little early. Hope I don't wake John with all this typing. :)

SO, our loan closed!

I'll make time for a little celebration here - hooray! - OK, now back to business.

There are all these loose ends to tie up, sales quotas to meet, papers to fax, checks to write. Hence the not sleeping. But there's another reason...we got our lodging info for Terra Madre yesterday!

I can't believe how close we're staying to everything. We're merely 7 blocks from the Salone del Gusto! Walking distance! With the thousands of people coming into Torino from all over the globe, we skinny American cheesemakers lucked out by getting stationed in someone's home just blocks from the heart of it all! Here's a map of where we'll be...

View Larger Map

On our way home from the farm yesterday we were whining that it didn't even feel like we were going to Italy in 3 weeks. There was so much to do! Not enough hours in the day! How on earth would we get it all done AND try to organize a last-ditch fundraising effort to cover our airfare, if, in fact, we were even going to make it to Torino?

But lo and behold, our inbox held the magic wand that would whisk away those fears and return us to that elated state when we first learned we would be delegates at the international gathering of producers, chefs, educators and youth in the birthplace of the Slow Food Movement.

Soon we were charting our google maps and making lists of things we would need...how much cheese should we bring to share? We need to find audio Italian lessons so I can cram while I'm in the cheseplant! Is a new camera in the budget so we can document our time there and blog about it as the only CA cheesemakers attending? What should we bring our hostess?

I read a 'tips sheet' the USA organizer sent us about what to expect...the main gist of it all? SLOOOW DOWN. Enjoy yourself! Leave the planning, type-A, control freak part of you in the states and just go to meet fellow farmers. Be prepared to communicate with your hands among all these international bretheren of food. Walk around, plan not to have a plan. Enjoy the food! It's starting to get exciting...

So, details on our fundraiser are coming up shortly; if it all pans out, it should be quite fun. But in the meantime, if you'd like to help sponsor two California cheesemakers on their trek to gastronomic enlightenment, we've added a little donation button on our web site. Grazi!

City Girl vs. Farm Girl

2008-09-28T17:34:00.000-07:00

So, my cat almost died on Friday. And I know this is getting a little more on the personal side of things, but it did make me think about where I am in my new life as a girl coming back to the farm. Especially when I told dad I was going to be late to the farm because I had to rush Jake to the vet to save his life and he said, "well, that was awfully nice of you. Now you'll have an expensive cat."

I immediately felt sheepish. All of a sudden, I'm one of "those people" who spend exorbitant amounts of money on their pets (I'm assuming; he's still at the vet with an IV and a catheter) instead of just putting them to sleep.

Looking back, I guess we did have this sort of deliberate detachment from the cats that hung around our farm when I was growing up. They weren't exactly pets, they were farm fixtures much like the tractor or shed or barn. They were just there. Sometimes we fed them, but mostly we depended on them to catch mice and rats. They were rarely let inside, though I do remember bottle feeding a few kittens in a box in my bathroom a time or two. But we certainly never rushed a cat to the vet; it was just the circle of life.

But this weird pull between two worlds that's revolving around my relationship with my cat is kind of a mini version of what I've been experiencing as a farm-girl-turned-city-girl-turned-farm-girl-again. I guess my views on some things have changed since I moved off the farm eight years ago. And now that I'm back on the farm, I'm like this weird alien with wacko ideas.

I adopted Jake as a kitten 5 years ago, when I noticed him climbing to the top of his cage at the Humane Society to leap kamikaze-style on his dozing littermates. He's the first pet cat I've ever really established a relationship with, instead of a "we respect each other's personal space so please don't put your rat on the front porch anymore and I'll keep the dogs from chasing you" understanding.

He's my buddy. I'm the hand that feeds him, the head he sleeps on (sometimes) and the recipient of his good-natured but obsessively delivered head-butts. So it wasn't even a second thought to coax this howling, hurting furball into his carrier and haul him to the vet when I knew something was wrong.

But I almost feel silly explaining that to anyone in my 'new farm life,' because when I explain to them why Jake is a part of my family and not just a pest control measure, I get the same frown-and-cocked-head expressions Sarah Palin probably gets when she tries to explain...well, anything, really. You know? I'm afraid people are thinking, "poor thing, I know she means well. She's just not makin' a lick of sense."

And I get that expression a lot! Espcially when I show up somewhere with my "city girl" jeans...the ones with paint on them and holes in the knees. When I was a magazine editor, they were cute; now they're just my barn jeans. But still, I get mocked whenever I'm running errands anywhere other than Chico. I hear, "you better not have paid money for those jeans," or "hey, next time I'm at Wal Mart, I'll just buy you a new pair." And this is from people I've never met before, people I'm in line with at the liquor store, just trying to get a Tall Boy after a long day! I mean, I may have just spent hours pulling a dead calf from its mom to try to save her life, but it's those jeans and my new vet bill that just scream City Slicker!

Sigh. I guess that's just the way it's going to be, at least for a while. I'm ok with not doing things the way they've always been done, I just don't like being mocked for it. I mean, if we ever move to the country I doubt I'd shuttle every barn cat to the vet if it was in pain. But for now I can make that concession for the Jakester. I'll tell you this, though...I draw the line with Wranglers!

Taking a Breather

2008-09-28T17:25:00.000-07:00

My grandma just told me I sound "kinda stressed" in my latest blog posts. Sorry, grandma. :)

How about a less-stressful nugget? Last night, John and I served cheese at the Orland Rotary's annual Brew and Wine fest. It's a super fun event, but this was the first time we really felt like a part of the community, instead of a couple of kids from Chico serving cheese. We've made a real concerted effort to become involved in the Orland community, since that's where the farm is, so we try to do as much banking, dining and shopping there as we can.

We knew a lot more of the vendors there this year, including LeighAnn from Farwood Bar & Grill and Joe from City Gates Cafe. But we were SO excited to meet Marty and Eileen from Mais Fica winery in Placerville. I know, they're not from Orland, but their roots make us even closer! In Portuguese, Mais Fica ("Mosh FEE-ca") means "more for me," and it's a favorite phrase grandmas or aunts use for those who don't clean their plates. Dad brought home a bottle of their Granache about a month ago, and last night we tried all three of their offerings including their blend and their Mouvedre. Delish!

I especially love their logo, the colorful rooster that is the national symbol of Portugal. Every good Portuguese family has one on their windowsill. But I love their wines even more. You know how sometimes a red can be sweet or dry, but never both or neither? Well, these are smoothest reds I've ever had; not sweet at all, but without that lingering chalky-oaky finish most non-sweet reds tend to have. I never had the feeling that something was missing in their wines. In fact, I'm enjoying a bottle of their Grenache as we speak. :) We're thinking about doing a specialized Tipsy Cow for them, so keep your eyes peeled this holiday season.

When You Run a Farm, You Have Conversations Like This...

2008-09-26T12:20:00.000-07:00

John: Hey, you wanna go to Chicken Whacking Day tomorrow?

Me: Shoot - I wish I could, but I have to make cheese tomorrow.

John: Man! I was really looking forward to going, but I don't want to whack chickens without you.

Me: I know! Especially 'cause Tyler will hook us up with chickens for helping him out.

John: Part of me just wants to see if I can do it. Like, what if I chop off its head and then I start screaming, "GAAAAAHHH! I don't want to do this anymore! I don't like this! I can't do it!"

Me: HAHAHA! Yeah, I definitely need to be there for that. Can you call Tyler to see when his next whacking day will be?

Can't a Girl Just Make Some Cheese Around Here?

2008-09-24T07:48:00.000-07:00

Last week, my hopes of gearing up for holiday cheesemaking were crushed by an overwhelming amount of 'other obligations.' But no cheese equals no money. No money equals unhappy lenders and no trips to Ad Hoc (still dreaming of the fried chicken. Soon, Ad Hoc. Very soon.).
This week, it's "cheesemaking or bust," and I'm already exhausted. Time has no meaning. Need to create an 18-month marketing plan with detailed expenditures for each month? Done, although it'll have to be in that hour-long period while the rennet's setting, and it'll have to be with one hand while I scarf the other half of yesterday's sandwich.
Create an 18-month production projection, determining the percentage of retail sales vs. wholesale sales, keeping in mind the days I'll make cheese vs. the days we ship fluid milk and projecting times we won't make cheese at all due to off-site events? Ok, but can it be during those four 45-minute breaks after the cheese is made and I'm just turning it under the press?
Clean up all those Quickbooks errors I've never really had time/know-how to fix but now need in order to create detailed expense projections for said lenders? Um, yeah, I can do that, but it'll have to be after I drop my sister off at the horse trainer's at 6 AM, then come back to milk, feed and shower, but before I have to be at her horse show to be her "responsible adult" for the day and bring her lunch.
Oh, right, and I also have a CDFA inspection, deposits to make, bills to pay, supplies to order, emails to catch up on, a fundraiser to plan, cheese to wash, racks to clean, invoices to send and an office to clean. I'm also pretty sure I've got some stuff to do at home, like dishes and laundry and hanging out with the dog, oh and good quality time with John. Can't forget that.
But I'm making cheese, dammit! I'm making cheese and no one can stop me! Coffee, please...

"Paging Last Week..."

2008-09-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but last week is a total blur. I'd meant to be keeping up with this blog a little more frequently, and here it is Saturday again. Sheesh. Well, ok, here's my week:

Monday, I thought I'd need a little more time to scrub the plant, so I decided to make a double batch on Tuesday. A double batch is four milkings; or right now, about 180 pounds of cheese. So Tuesday's batch would have included Tuesday morning's milk, Monday night and Monday morning's milk, and Sunday night's milk. Don't worry, we still do a lot of counting on our fingers when we're planning out our cheesemaking schedule.

We shipped a few cheese orders Monday night. Some went to The Big Cheese in SoCal...so if you went to the farmers market in Brentwood or Manhattan Beach or Pacific Palisades or Calabasas and tried a new, aged, fabulous cheese, it was probably mine. (Gwen Stefani, I'm lookin' at you. Just sayin'. Hook a sista up with some love.)

When I checked my email Monday night, it was apparent I needed to see our Farm Services loan adviser first thing Tuesday morning. See, with this funding, most of my folks' debts are going to become interrelated and subsequently tackled. Which is awesome. Getting a handle on this is exactly what we need. But everything needs to line up just so before we even see the first disbursement (which was supposed to be earlier this month, btw). So I trekked over to her office Tuesday morning and we pored over spreadsheet after spreadsheet making things make sense. She sent me home with a bunch of tasks and I ticked them off one-by-one, faxing her up to 10 pages at a time (the internet's been down since the storm. IN JANUARY.). By 4:30 we both felt comfortable with the progress and called it a day, but I was so embroiled in numbers that I stayed at the farm another couple of hours to work on my homework from our new financial planner. Obviously, I did not make cheese.

Wednesday was already a "no cheese day" because John, dad and I had a big marketing / budgeting session planned. I think we made some great headway, and I'm loving the way we can all work together now. The biggest accomplishment was getting a handle on what we're going to do for Passport Weekend, which is coming up Oct. 11 - 12. Details soon in another post. After our meeting, John and I headed up to Redding; we were asked to be the guest speakers at the Weston A. Price chapter meeting. I thought it went great; there were some questions I couldn't answer, but that's fine. I'll find the answers and be better prepared next time. :)

When we got home around 10 Wednesday night, there was a voicemail from our FDA inspector, who wanted to come up the next day. CRAP! I know, I'm pretty diligent about keeping stuff clean so I shouldn't have anything to worry about. But plant inspections take me back to those days in high school with the random drug dog testing -- there was never any reason for me to be scared, but just the thought that there might be a misunderstanding, and the fear of the power those people have, tied - and still ties - my stomach into knots.

I passed the inspection with flying colors - the last two years, her partner has conducted my inspections, so this was her first time on the farm since I'd taken over. I'd forgotten how many improvements we'd made, like getting the brine tubs off the floor and painting the tasting room / office / holding area. But, since she came around noon, there was no time to start making cheese once she left (the whole process takes about 10 hours), and my hopes of making cheese this week were dashed.

Yesterday I spent a finger-numbing four hours on the computer returning emails, then went to the farm for another four to get ready for farmers markets. I'm helping my folks out and shuttling the kids around today, milking tonight and tomorrow morning, and being a "horse mom" tomorrow at my sister's horse show. Lucky John gets to go to Soil Born Farms tonight in Sacramento for their Autumn Equinox celebration, then do the farmers market in the morning.

Next week's already looking pretty packed, but I'm certain we'll be able to squeeze cheesemaking in there somewhere!

California Heartland

2008-09-16T20:24:00.000-07:00

We finally watched our episode that ran a couple weeks ago on California Heartland, a Sacramento-based show that focuses on California agriculture.
Our PBS station has already switched to digital (we still run the rabbit ears), and the link they have on the site is only compatible with Windows XP or higher (stupid Windows 2000!); so I had to wait anxiously until the copies they so gratiously sent us came in the mail.
The show was so great! They caught John and I laughing together in the plant, which is what we do most of the time...it even shows me walking down the road with my hairnet on (didn't know they were filming), just chillin', set to some very funny background music. I thought it was hilarious; John says it's his favorite part.
You can watch it online here. Just click on the "watch video" icon next to the title.

My Series of Emotions on Slow Food Nation

2008-09-13T06:55:00.000-07:00

I've been mulling this whole Slow Food Nation over in my mind over the last two weeks, catching up on blogs by attendees, press and even the director of the whole shebang. I've collected a few thoughts and tried to sort them out and think I've finally reached a defined conclusion as to why I feel the way I do about the event.

Let me start by saying I think the idea behind Slow Food Nation was grand - in more ways than one - and in no way do I want to diminish the hard work put in by everyone who was able to pull this thing together. Also, these are my thoughts and my thoughts only, and I do not speak for any other producer, volunteer or attendee.

I was so excited at first to hear that such an event was even going to happen. When we received our "welcome to Slow Food Nation" acceptance letter I was even more excited. But as the weeks passed and things started to come together with nary a word from the organizers, I started to get a sense that this wasn't really about us. And I don't mean "us" like Pedrozo Dairy & Cheese; sheesh, I don't have that much of a sense of entitlement. I mean "us" like the producers. You know, the people who make the food that make "the culinary event of the decade" possible?

Being a member of my local convivium's head table, I've had to learn that living "slowly" doesn't just mean in the production of food, and I've often wondered if my years of student council, my stint as president of my sorority and other such gigs has inadvertently made me "too fast for slow food." Things happen on their own time, and normally come off without a hitch. And so, I didn't sweat too much when we still didn't really have an idea of what was happening just weeks before Labor Day Weekend, and figured we'd hear from someone when they really needed to let us know something.

But as the weeks went on, and the mentions in the press began to expound on one another, but we were yet to be told the down-and-dirty details of the extent of our participation, my mood on the event began to sour. I felt - and still feel - that the event was "too big for its britches" (a phrase my grandpa lovingly applied to me), that a disproportionate amount of attention was spent on wooing the media and not on making the everyday, regular food producers feel "welcome to the table."

Could I have called, emailed, done my own due diligence in finding out what my teeny-tiny role could / should have been? Absolutely. But look, I've had to stand my ground on numerous occasions to be included in events, and I'm becoming very, very sensitive to the fact that I'm becoming a nuisance to the people who organize them. I'm also a farmer working 12-hour days, to produce good, clean, fair food and couldn't always put "call the folks at SFN" on the top of my list.

Also, and this is just a personality thing, I don't like feeling like I'm looking for a handout or special treatment. I knew there were so many more details these guys were working on to pull the event together, and why would a little old cheesemaker need to call and bug them and ask if I could get into the Taste Pavilions if I wanted to? I shouldn't have felt that I was bothering them, but I think that's the position the folks at SFN put us producers in by neglecting to articulate to us exactly what their vision was for our participation.

In a series of blog posts, this is what SFN executive director Anya Fernald had to say about the story behind the Taste Pavilions:

"The question was how to do that without requiring that hundreds of food producers come to San Francisco and incur the costs of travel, lodging, and demands on their valuable time. One thing I had heard loud and clear during our initial outreach was that farmers and food artisans were tired of coming to events (Slow Food and other) and being asked to do everything for free, including donate product and work, for the benefit of (often well-heeled) ticket buyers."

Her blog post definitely gave me an "a ha moment" (in the immortal words of Ms. Oprah), but it still didn't sit well with me. I wasn't consulted on whether I'd like to incur the costs of travel, lodging and "demands" on my valuable time. I never once thought Slow Food Nation belonged in even the same galaxy as an event like the Fancy Food Show. That's what was supposed to make this thing so special!

And here's where the disparity is clear: the blurbs in the media (the September issue of Vanity Fair, even!) presented this event as a real kickass thing that anyone in the food industry (sustainable or no) would be a sucker for not attending. It grew so far beyond a "trade show"-type event, but from the eyes of an outsider (because I sure wasn't getting any inside information), this behemoth was moving full-speed ahead while leaving some producers confused and a little out of the loop.

Was it the Taste Pavilion curators' jobs to keep us in said loop? I don't think so. I think Sue and Peggy and all the crew from Cowgirl Creamery, as well as Lynne Deveraux of the California Artisan Cheese Guild, did an outstanding job plating the various cheeses that came together from all over the country and presenting them in such a great light. The word from blogs everywhere is that their pavilion was top-notch, popular and handled with the utmost ease and professionalism. And they have their own cheese company to run! I believe that when it came down to the amount and type of cheese they required to handle their Taste Pavilion, obviously communication with producers was essential. But it was not their job to relay to us the ins and outs of the event, and if I could venture to guess, they probably didn't have all the answers anyway.

In my very humble opinion as a somewhat jaded food producer, here is what I would have liked to seen or would like to see next year:

*Direct communication to all producers accepted to be a part of Slow Food Nation. The rumor circulating prior to the event was that 800 members of the press were going to be there. Eight hundred! I know the workforce at Slow Food is spread thin already, so to see such a disparity in the amount of attention paid to the press over the producers is disheartening. Put one person in charge of "producer relations" and offer personal communication to everyone. "Preview to the Taste Pavilions" dinner? I had no idea that was even an option, until someone returning from the event (a member of the press, no less) told me he asked for me there and was told I was "so busy" I couldn't possibly have made it. Honestly, I didn't even know about it.

*Give the producers who were accepted to be a part of Slow Food Nation two free passes to the Taste Pavilions, and give them a first-come, first-serve list of events (dinners, talks, etc.) they can attend. If they can't make it, that's up to them; but maybe they can give the tickets to their employees or someone they know who would benefit from such an outing but might not otherwise have the ability to do so.

It's a small group, we members of the food producing family, and we like to get together with each other. There's a bond between us that exists even before we meet. To be able to co-mingle with others in our herd is not only a rare occasion, it's sort of a gift that many of us look forward to and will take the time to do if we know it's going to be worth hiring a part-time milker for the day or talking the neighbor kid into checking in on the animals.

(Note: I know producers were able to get "discounted" tickets to the taste pavilion, but only found out because another producer had to ask if he, his wife and his five kids would all have to shell out the $65 to go through the pavilions. I think direct communication to ALL producers at the time they were notified of acceptance would not only have been the professional thing to do, it just would have made us feel a little more welcome.)

*Have a series of workshops that producers can speak at or attend, focused on their area of expertise. Cheese, pickles, charcuterie, heritage turkey farming, CSA's, you name it. You want dialogue? Why not let the people who are actually getting their hands dirty talk about it first-hand and share ideas with the public and each other?

In a piece in The Nation, Eric Schlosser says the event was deemed a success by organizers based on the sheer numbers it drew, but, "Largely missing, however, was a group of people who will ultimately determine whether this movement gains importance beyond the Bay Area: the workers who harvest, process and serve the food we eat."

I cried a little when I read that. Somebody from "the inside" saw the event the same way we did. And by "we" I mean me and my family. I can't speak for everyone. I heard someone selling at the marketplace sold himself right out of debt. Awesome! But I don't think I'm the only producer to feel more than a little left out, and that maybe the focus on this year's event was to get people talking about Slow Food by any means possible.

And, to an extent, that's ok. I know dialogue is happening out in the open that in the past has occurred mainly among the like-minded. But I do think next year, a lot more can be done to put the focus on the people who produce the food that made Slow Food Nation, and that dialogue, possible.

I Thought I was Done with Homework!

2008-09-12T21:03:00.000-07:00

Oh man! So today was another full day with our new financial consultant. She is SO great; exactly what we needed. I can ask her anything in the world and I never feel stupid for it. In fact, I may end the day completely wiped out, but I also feel a little enlightened what with all the cool stuff I'm learning.

But MAN! The homework she gives me! It just takes soooo long to plug through. So long!
I'm trying my hardest to keep cheese production up and still get all these assignments done, and I'm pretty sure I can do it. I get this weird sense of accomplishment from filing...and you already know how I feel about crossing stuff off my list.

After Vada left at 5, John and I spent about 3 hours getting cheese ready for the farmers market tomorrow. We send most of it to Sierra Nevada Cheese to be cut and wrapped, but we still have to weigh and price it. Then we hand-cut the Black Butte Reserve and weigh and price that. We also hand cut and wrap any Northern Gold wedges that are .74 pounds and over, so we'll have smaller wedges for all the single ladies who frequent our booth. (I like to think it's the cheese that brings them back; but if it's to see John, I'm ok with that, too. A girl's gotta eat!) We'll have a few Tipsy Cows and a bunch of Stout Cows this weekend, too.

Tomorrow's my big cleaning day in the plant. I need to soak all of my nets and moulds, clean out the brines (Again! I don't want to, but who else is going to, ya know?), turn and rotate my cheeses, and give the plant a good scrub-down. I'll also wait to get a call from John around 10 AM so I'll know what cheese to prep for the Sacramento farmers market on Sunday.

Normally we do it all in one shot, but silly us, we decided last night to try a drink recommended to us by a friend that involved Trader Joe's Blood Orange Italian Soda and vodka. (Check out this post on the elusive soda. Apparently we're waaaay behind the times!)

We were a tad beat today, so I promised to split duties and prep the rest of the cheese tomorrow. Then hopefully I can beg someone to man open hours (11-3) so I can work on this homework. Or nap. We'll see.

I took pictures today of Big Red, the new cow, but I'm too tired to upload and fuss with them, so maybe tomorrow. Night-o!

Big Red

2008-09-11T18:42:00.000-07:00

In between serious number crunching and plant cleaning, I moseyed on out to the pasture to see dad's new cow. I don't have a picture of her yet, but I hope to post one tomorrow (when the loan money comes, I want a company camera!). She's a red holstein -- the only one in the herd. She's BIG (pregnant) and beautiful, with most of her body covered in rich, burnt-umber colored hair, and a few white patches on her legs.

When I found her she was checking out the place, just coming back from a jaunt into the milk barn. Our barn is a little different from Ed's, the friend dad bought her from, so I hope she does OK. We don't have those fancy-shmancy automatic machines that can sense when the cow's done milking and take themselves off. She'll get the hang of it, though, and will probably fit right in after a little hazing from the other ladies.

I have a meeting with our new financial consultant tomorrow, so I won't be making cheese until next Monday. Today I plowed through the list of homework she gave me at our last meeting, like entering assets from the depreciation schedule and reconciling loan balances to amortization schedules. Real exciting stuff.

Acutally, I had to set my timer by the hour, so I'd do an hour of number crunching in the office and then an hour of work in the cheeseplant. Otherwise, I get too caught up in my cheeseplant chores (there's always something to clean and I'm about due for a state inspection), or I get so wrapped up in this accounting quagmire that dad has to come check on me (he usually finds me staring blankly at the screen or furiously rattling away at the 10-key. Or eating leftover Mexican food, whatever.)

Here's my favorite part about Quickbooks: Say you have a credit card with a recurring balance, (Oh, you don't? Liar.) and you make a $150 payment on it. A little window pops up and says, "The remaining balance for this account is $1,850. Would you like to write a check for the remaining amount?"

Duh! Of course I'd like to write a magical fairyland check for $1,850! Was that all it took?! Silly me, I thought I had a real relationship going with those Citicorp guys. You know, you send me a cute little statement and I send you a cute little check...nevermind all those other people I have to call to try to squirm out of late charges or set up payment plans. Yes, I do believe I'd like to write that check!

Un Nuevo Amigo en el Mundo de Queso

2008-09-10T19:00:00.000-07:00

I get nervous when people want to make cheese with me. Granted, I do offer the Be The Cheesemaker day, when people can come make cheese with me for an afternoon. That part's fun, because I have them come around noon, after all the boring stuff's done, and they just help cut and pack curd. Then we do a little tasting and tour. I've had more women choose this day for their birthday present!

BUT, today was not a Be The Cheesemaker day. This was the second day this week that I made cheese with Gabriel, a Puerto Rican dairy farmer who is looking to make organic farmstead cheese (nobody makes organic cheese in Puerto Rico, he says). He's wrangled up some equipment, and has an idea of what kind of cheese he wants to make, but since he sold his dairy a few years ago, he's still looking for a place to be able to milk around 20 cows, keep them on pasture, and build a cheeseplant. Oh, and he needs to learn how to make the stuff.

I learned about Gabriel through Cindy Daley, the captain at the helm of the Chico State Organic Dairy, the only university organic dairy west of the Mississippi, and one of the only two in the country. Gabriel found the campus dairy online and contacted Cindy, and has been helping out at the University Farm for almost a month now. He'll be leaving next Tuesday. Apparently, the only thing he was sticking around for was to make cheese with me.

When Cindy called to ask me if Gabriel might be able to come by and see what we do, I was a bit hesitant. There's only four ingredients that go into cheesemaking, and yet we cheesemakers are able to make nearly 4,000 varieties of cheese. We all have our secrets: pH levels, curd rinsing, timing, feed, whatever.

"Don't worry," Cindy said. "He's not out to steal any family secrets."

I know, I know. Sheesh. And so, I picked Gabriel up at his hotel at 8:30 this morning and we headed to the farm. It was hard to explain certain points in the cheesemaking process to Gabriel. A lot of "why's" were answered with a shrug and sheepish grin, because I don't know the correct "technical" answer, but I promised I'd find the answer for him. Even so, I've given him some contacts that can help with all those technical things in case I REALLY made him confused.

But, I've also learned about myself; mostly that I don't need to be such a perfectionist about everything when someone's with me to learn the basics. Because the little things that I do are what make my cheese mine. And the little things Gabriel does are going to make his cheese his. That's what puts the "art" in artisan. He can hand press the cheese differently if he wants to; he can let the whey drain before he puts the curd into the mould if he wants to. It might make a tiny difference in the cheese, but then, I'll call it "Gabriel's Batch," and each time I turn those wheels I'll think fondly of these lessons we both learned while he was here. And when I sell that cheese at the farmers market, I'll explain that little difference to our customers.

We've had a blast these last two days. We go to the same Mexican restaurant for lunch and talk about family. He called his oldest daughter Monday when we were done making cheese and explained to her in Spanish what we'd done and how "mi esposa" (John) was packing up the cheese we sell "en el Internet."

Then he handed me the phone.
"I want you to meet her," he said.
So she and I chatted about the weather, and I told her her dad was a natural-born cheesemaker.

When I dropped him off this evening, he made sure that I promised I'd come visit once he got his cheeseplant up and running. He hugged me goodbye and called me a "very special person," and took his four pounds of Black Butte Reserve, which he called "the best cheese I have ever had. Ever." THAT's why I'm a cheesemaker.

Today I...

2008-09-09T16:54:00.001-07:00

For the last year, I think I've approached this blog thing as more of a magazine than a diary. I'm always carefully plotting out my content to coincide with events or seasons or what-have-you. But worrying so much about my posts having some sort of chronological link or theme tends to keep me from posting regularly. And that's no fun! Wasn't the dairy princess diaries supposed to chronicle my life as a newbie farmstead cheesemaker? I don't think I've followed my mission statement very well. So today I decided just to do a daily (I hope!) recap of my day. Because, seriously, so much happens in a day that I often forget!

So, today I...

Slept in. It was a crazy, insane weekend milking while my parents were gone and watching the kids and dogs (I think my parents need the Dog Whisperer. Those dogs ruled my life saturday night). Yesterday I made cheese and spent some much-needed girl time last night with one of my best friends, so I purposely neglected to turn on the alarm and just slept.

John and I went downtown to pick up my truck and have a quick regrouping meeting at the bagel shop. We decided we need to have a meeting to really nail down our cheese club and make it spectacular! Not sure when that's going to happen yet, but at least it's on our radars. :)

In the afternoon I drove to the farm, washed cheese for a couple of orders that went out today (note to Harvest Market customers in Fort Bragg who sampled our cheese at Winesong!: they'll have the Black Butte Reserve in by this weekend!), and turned every single wheel of cheese we have. I put yesterday's cheese in the brines, weighed and invoiced the cheeses that went out today, entered our farmers market sales from the weekend into quickbooks and came home.

I'm currently in the process of returning emails and LISTING. Fall is in the air, which means holiday sales are on peoples' minds. We can practically feel the buzz and we need to get ready for it. Plus, it looks like we're getting funded to expand, so there's all kinds of numbers and stuff we're supposed to have ready for the first disbursement. Am I excited? Of course, but I'll be more excited when the money's here. :)

After Labor Day weekend, I set a google alert for slow food nation, and reports have been coming in from all over the globe. We didn't make it to the event, but our cheese did, so I like hearing what other people thought. Very interesting dialogue going on there. Check out this blurb by the Bay Area's Eco Chef Aaron French. Here's an account by Dishing Up Delights, and I'm pretty sure their picture from the Cheese Taste Pavilion (scroll way down) has my Northern Gold on the left. I think. Pretty sure. I mean, what kind of cheesemaker would I be if I didn't recognize my own cheese? Now that I've said that, I sure hope it's mine.

And, since every post should have a picture, here's a good look at most of the cheese I turned today. The picture was taken by one of the Good Sam's group that toured our place on Saturday. I wish we had an RV group every weekend. Those guys are so much fun!

Raw Milk Cheese in Today's Washington Post

2008-08-06T19:28:00.000-07:00

There was a story in today's Washington Post featuring Sally Fallon, author of "Nourishing Traditions" and founder of the Weston A. Price Foundation. I haven't really delved into the subject of raw milk cheese before, mostly because I was still learning from my folks why they'd chosen to make raw milk cheese vs. cheese from pasteurized milk, and also because raw milk tends to be a complex subject.

According to today's article, Dr. Price researched and concluded that "a diet high in the vitamins found in animal fats and untouched by "modern" innovations such as refined flour, sugar and chemically preserved foods was the key to preventing chronic disease and tooth decay." One of the main foods touted by Fallon and the WAPF for this is raw milk and raw milk cheese from grass fed cows. Ahem.

If you can get through all the scientific wording (sometimes reading stuff on their site creates a time-consuming web), check out the info on "Activator X," or vitamin K2.

It was interesting to see not only a fairly balanced article on the group that would get eye-rolls and 'cuckoo' faces behind its back only a few years ago; and even more interesting was that the comments page wasn't flooded with nay-sayers calling the WAPF's members' sanity into question. Right now, we are embroiled a huge movement toward "real food" and, I'd venture to guess, away from "dieting" as we know it. A move back to the land and away from individually packaged 100-calorie snacks is bringing very inquisitive patrons to our farmers market stalls each week.

A year-and-a-half of selling our cheese at the farmers markets has conjured up quite a few questions from customers, and if I don't already have the answers, I strive to have them by the next market. One of the most frequent subjects, other than the question, "exactly what type of cheese is this?" (I finally have a well-honed answer! It's a cross between a gouda and a cheddar.), is raw milk cheese.

Namely:

Why do you make raw milk cheese? Dad's response: "Because we're preserving a tradition of cheesemaking that goes back thousands of years." For an interesting take on why cheesemakers choose raw vs. pasteurized milk, check out this post in Canyon of Cheese.

Is it Safe? Yes. We age our cheese the minimum period of 60 days, as is required by the FDA. As with any food production facility, sanitation is priority number one, and testing of our products is routine. We're also inspected quarterly by the state and annually by the FDA.

Isn't it healthier for me? That's the argument the folks at WAPF have...that essential vitamins are found in raw milk cheeses, especially those from grass-fed cows, and that they are not present in pasteurized milk.

And, I know he has some different things to say on the subject of the WAPF, and while I probably don't follow his guidance like I should, for some incredible no-fail insight into all things nutrition, check out my friend and food genius Robb Wolf here. :)

Did I Mention We're Going to Slow Food Nation?

2008-08-06T18:18:00.000-07:00

So, my excitement to announce our participation in Slow Food's Terra Madre sort of eclipsed the smaller announcement that we'll be a part of the first-ever Slow Food Nation, an event some people are claiming will be "the culinary event of the decade." There's so much cool stuff happening that weekend I can't even list it all, so you should go to the link above and check it all out for yourself. As for our involvement in it, it goes a little something like this:

We had two ways to be involved: selling individually at the farmers market-type event that we were told would draw tens of thousands of people each of the three days of the event; or through the Taste Pavilion, which would feature many more producers of the same product, including cheese, charcuterie and pickles.

Yes, there's an entire Pickle Pavilion! The ideals and practices of our farm granted us acceptance to be part of the event; however, the amount of cheese we produce annually moved us into the Taste area.

Which isn't a bad thing; don't get me wrong! We're so excited for our Northern Gold to be featured side-by-side with some of the nation's amazing cheese producers. But even when we first filled out the application, the enormity this event seemed to promise sort of presented a conundrum...if Slow Food Nation was supposed to feature the small-scale, family farms who produce the nation's food slowly and sustainably, but required that they be able to sample and sell to 60,000 people over a three-day period, didn't some lines need to be blurred? We might have been able to supply some of that number, but we're obviously not in a position to sell 1/2 pound of cheese to even half those expected to attend.

I mean, I don't want to sound like being in one place over the other is a consolation prize or anything, but wouldn't it have been neat for, say, three or four cheesemakers to each man a side of a tent in the marketplace, ensuring that they'd be able to meet and chat with customers and provide them with something they can take away?

We were informed that SFN was a "no waste event," which I am totally down with. But does that mean no info to hand to people when they stop by the table? How are people going to remember our cheese if they just happen to pick up the cheese plate that just happens to have our cheese alongside three others? And don't those large-scale cheesemakers who do have enough inventory to sample and sell have a take-home advantage over us smaller cheesemakers?

Maybe I'm looking at it wrong...maybe it's not supposed to be a chance to gain customers, just to highlight artisan food producers. I get that, I guess. But when it's your livelihood, everything becomes a chance to turn people onto your cheese, whether it's a donation to a local event, a wine tasting a few hours away, or a gargantuan extravaganza bringing in food producers, food lovers and chefs from all over the country. And I thought that was one of the main focuses of Slow Food, to highlight the smaller guys who don't otherwise get a lot of attention.

I promise, I'm very excited for the event overall. It looks incredible, and I can't even imagine all the hard work that's going in to putting this kind of thing together...there's so much more happening than just silly little cheese quips. Gnarls Barkley performing at a little gig called Slow Food Rocks? The Pickle Pavilion?! Woo! It's gonna be amazing, whether people love my cheese or not.

And besides, not everyone gets to go to Terra Madre, right?!

Hey, What Happened to the Redding Farmers Market?!

2008-07-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Ah, yes, the Redding farmers market. It's not that we don't want to go...we love(d) being vendors there, truly! But here's the thing: we have a limited amount of inventory and a limited amount of hours we can run on fumes before we collapse or run ourselves off the road in an exhausted daze. Something had to give, and so for the time being we just can't make it to the Redding market on Saturday mornings. It won't be that way forever; in fact, inventory and man-hours should be on the upswing in a matter of months. But until then, you can find our Northern Gold at Orchard Nutrition in Redding. Thanks for your patience!!

It's Working...

2008-07-27T13:00:00.000-07:00

My little signs are working! I'm making a nice little bit of extra cash just by hauling those handmade wooden signs out to the side of the road whenever I'm around the cheeseplant. I'm not making that much, I'm maybe selling a few wedges of cheese here and there, but I get a lot of, "I've driven past your place every day for the last three years and always wanted to stop. I just never knew if you were open!"
Our road runs parallel to Hwy 32, which takes people from Interstate 5 through Orland and into Chico, and vice versa. So a lot of locals, CHP officers (who go WAY too fast without their lights and sirens on, if you ask me) and big rigs (ditto, save for the lights and sirens part) choose our "back road" to avoid traffic on that main strip. If anything, my signs are at least getting people to slow down on our road. It's not a highway, people!

Cheese and Journalism: When Worlds Collide

2008-07-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

I love my life as a cheesemaker/dairy farmer. I mean, LOVE it. But sometimes I miss the old life, especially all those fun times with my coworkers who very much were a part of my extended family. After late-night editing we'd walk down to the bar to watch a fellow writer/designer/editor play their latest gig with their latest band. We'd do lunch together the next day and laugh at our silly inside jokes. Hell, when our national magazine launched we spent days on end together, taking turns napping on the couch, battling on Streetfighter or picking up burritos.
In fact, the title of this blog post is in homage to my friend James, who was my editor when I joined the magazine crew but quickly became my good friend and roommate. I was assigned a Powerman 5000 show to review, so he went with me just to check it out. (Please don't judge me based on this one reference to this band. Sometimes I would just go to shows because they were in town and there wasn't much else to do.)
I didn't even turn in a review. I mean, worst. show. ever. But it's one of my fondest memories with James because before we turned tail on the band and its woefully small pit in favor of pints at the pub, we actually sat near the back of the room with our fingers in our ears, convinced that it actually made the sound better.
Now, and for a very short time, James and I are fellow editors again, thanks to our friend and old-days coworker Melissa and her new magazine! They were short on editors, so I offered to check stuff out for them...truth be told, I was feeling the itch to deconstruct words and phrases and put them together again. It's kind of a sickness. My brain approaches that kind of stuff as if it were a puzzle.
Anywho, my worlds have collided! I'm a copy editor for Sacramento's SubMerge magazine, back in the throes of entertainment- and community-focused reporting and editing AND working with my homies again! Even though I live in Chico, I'm in Sac at least once a week for farmers markets and have slowly made it my second home. I'm hip to Sac's hot-spots and restaurants, maybe even more so than Chico's these days. I know a few of the writers from old times; and even though we haven't talked for a year or so, it's cool to catch up with them through their restaurant reviews or stories. I'm reading reviews of bands I wouldn't have heard of in my cavernous little cheeseplant, and I'm striking extra apostrophes and hyphenating words with a vengeance!
I can't explain the feeling of my life coming full-circle, even if it is just a little copyediting for friends here and there after cheesemaking and before farmers markets. I don't know, I guess I've hit that sweet spot, where everything just works. So this is what it's like...

It's More than Cheese!

2008-07-10T11:38:00.000-07:00

I've finally had a taste for what I've really been yearning to do on the farm: salvage and make stuff. Sure, I already make cheese, and that's fun and all, but there's 20 acres of farm out here with loads of stuff to get creative with! I walk the farm some days and dream of things I can make or move or clean up (the farm really just needs a couple months of attention, sweat and trips to the dump), but my other jobs so far have kept me from really digging in.
But last week, a fierce determination swept over me, so I decided to make road signs to draw more visitors to the farm. I don't know what's kept us from having these signs before...did I think they'd be too much work? That they wouldn't turn out ok? That I needed something more professional to herald the fact that yes, behind these eucalyptus trees there is a tiny dairy with an even tinier cheese plant? Whatever the case, apparently last Friday was the day to do it, and so I began to scour the property for items I would need.
Dad saw me snooping around his shed, so he asked what I was looking for.
"Can I use that piece of wood to make a road sign?" I asked.
He looked at me like I'd just told him I was finally getting married but promised not to make him a grandfather 'til he was at least 50. Read: Pleasantly surprised.
"You know, I have the perfect piece by the barn," he said. "I rescued it from the neighbors' burn pile just in case we ever wanted to make a sign."
By now, my sister was in on the action, so we found our gloves and traipsed over to the barn, loaded up this great piece of wood into dad's truck and brought it back to our make-shift work area (under mom's clothesline near the shade of the orange tree).
Soon, Dad was scavenging everywhere to find us paint and paintbrushes. Where was it all from? I have no idea, but the rust on the red paint can might belie at least 10 years of age. But the cool part was that we never made a trip to the store. We had everything we needed; and if we didn't, we made something else fit the bill.
The piece of wood had been leaning against the barn for so long that its back side looked pretty gnarly, so we decided to cut it in half and have two signs, each facing a different direction. Laura measured the wood precisely in half and made her pencil mark and I...wait for it...SAWED THE WOOD IN HALF! I know. I'm 26 and work on a farm, and big whoop-de-do, I sawed wood. But you don't understand. In dad's loving and caring way, he always does this stuff. And I let him, because it's not that big a deal. But he left to run an errand and Laura and I were on a roll, so we scoped out a safe place to set the wood (a tractor tire! Brilliant!), and I neatly and without severing a limb, sawed the two most perfect pieces of wood you've ever seen.
Laura painted them both white, and then yesterday I finished up by painting the letters with some of that scavenged barn red paint of mysterious origins. I'm quite pleased with the result, as were, I believe, the cats who watched my every move. My letters turned out straight and even, and everything's spelled right, so...I guess we're open for business!
Dad had the great idea of screwing the signs in to some of our leftover containers that the teat sanitizers come in. The have handles and everything, so we can carry the signs out to the road when we're open and bring them back in when we can't be available. So there it is! If you see these signs, stop on by!
We're also going to be open on Fridays from 3 to 6 PM and Saturdays from 11 AM to 3 PM. And of course we're always open by appointment. Just email me. :)

We're in Terra Madre!

2008-07-08T07:34:00.000-07:00

Sorry it took me so long to post again about my BIG news! And, my apologies to friends and family who may have assumed this BIG news involved new jewelry or save-the-date cards. No, my BIG news is that John and I were accepted into Terra Madre!!! It's the biggest gathering of sustainable farmers, cooks and educators in the world, hosted by Slow Food International and held in Turin, Italy for five days in October.
Our friend Rachael from CUBE in LA sent us the call for applications a few months ago with a note that said, 'I think you guys should apply for this. :) ' So we did, and we're IN!
This year, the head table of Slow Food decided the focus would be on the 'Youth Food Movement,' a burgeoning group of us youngsters who believe in the ideals of sustainable food production and the enjoyment of good, clean, fair food. And so, John and I will be two of 500 American youth in food attending the gathering...and we 500 will be part of 7000 in attendance from more than 150 countries.

I can't wait; I've never been to Italy, and certainly haven't had the opportunity to stay with a host family for five days in the Piedmont region, nor the chance to meet with farmers and cheesemakers from throughout the world! I can't even imagine how inspired we're going to feel on that plane trip back, after our immersion into the world of international food and production. There's even an open-air event during Terra Madre called Salone del Gusto, which is apparently one of the best international food experiences!

But there is one teeny, tiny little catch. Once we get there, everything's paid for. Once we get there. And I'm certain we can raise the funds for our airfare, but the kicker is that they need to know our flight details by the end of July so they can arrange ground transport to our respective lodgings. I couldn't imagine being in charge of shuttling thousands of people from three different airports to hotels, homes, b&bs and even the Olympic lodge, so I guess organizing by July 30th makes sense. But two tickets to Italy wasn't exactly in our monthly budget for July and so we're frantically trying to think of gracious friends or family who may be able to sponsor us until we can raise the funds to cover the tickets.
There's fundraiser planning happening all over the place, between our Slow Food convivium and local chefs who are dying to host a party for us, so I know the money will happen, just maybe not in the next two weeks. To move things along, we put a little donation selection on the Web site in case anyone wanted to donate $5 here or $20 there. John put $1000 as an option just to be funny. :)
So, wish us luck! And once we get the plane tickets, wish us buona fortuna!

Seriously...It's Almost July?!

2008-06-21T20:42:00.001-07:00

If you could only see my list of things to do right now. I'm a big fan of listing; I make a list every day, mostly carrying over the unfinished tasks of the day before and adding new ones as they come up. That way, I don't get bogged down with all the thoughts of what I should be doing, and my brain can focus on other stuff, like, "I wonder what everyone from last year's Maker Nights at Cube are up to," or, "whose dumb idea was it to train for a 10K in the middle of summer, anyway?" At any rate, I can't believe how long it's been since I posted here. Sorry about that! I do have a lot to report, I guess. I forget that not everyone works on their family's farm making cheese...sometimes I'm jolted with the realization that this life we're living is pretty interesting, and maybe people like to read about it. :)

So, first on my list is BLOG. Check.

Ha, only kidding. Maybe I'll do a roundup of topics like I did when I was milking and hopefully check back in to elaborate on them. Let's see...

1. We're SO close to expanding! We're (I'm) getting the paperwork together as we speak. It's a huge loan application that's just about finished. Man, sometimes I feel like I've had a crash Masters in Business course. Words just pour from my mouth like, "fully amortized" or "I backed those numbers out to account for interest." What?! But it's all so worth it. That's mostly why I haven't been online, to chat or blog or the like. My head's been buried in projections, financial statements and aging room plans. Bleah.

2. I have summer help! My 15-year-old brother's got plenty to do in the cheeseplant while he's out of school for the summer. He acts like he hates it, but to me, these summers look like the sort of scenes in movies where the lead character recounts the summers past that made him the man he is today. Tom's great in there; and while I try not to be too much of a hardass, I want him to learn responsibility and pride in his heritage. And also that "Huh" is not an appropriate response when being addressed. We'll get there.

3. Looks like we'll be on TV again! We filmed last week with a crew from KVIE's California Heartland. I think it'll be on RFD like California Country, but I don't know for sure. This year, it's in Hi-Def! Woo!

4. Attended the first meeting this year for the Passport Weekend. I get so jazzed about this event! It's looking like maybe Pedrozo Cheese and Massa Rice will join forces or at least open a little early so passporters can start on the West Side and then enjoy the rest of their days in the heart of Butte County, where most of the other farms are located. We'll keep you posted.

5. Speaking of Massa, I can honestly say that I've had a hand in building their home...so if it falls down, sorry about Greg and Raquel! :) Actually, last month they hosted a bale-raising, very similar to a barn raising, only this was to let people get in on the action adding onto their home, constructed of rice straw bales. It was SO much fun. I hammered in a few nails (was actually mocked by the contractor, but that's ok. I do hammer like a girl!) and learned how the bales are fitted to be the walls of the building. It's amazing, really.
I'd been hoping our new aging room could be a rice straw bale building, but timing and logistics sort of dictated that we have a traditional building this time. But maybe when the time comes to refurbish the old barn, we can just salvage the wood and build a straw bale barn in its place! I know, I know, one thing at a time.

6. My cousin Josh is getting married next weekend; the first of 13 cousins to officially tie the knot. That's a big deal in itself, but the cool thing is that he asked me for cheese for his reception long enough ago that I was able to make him some personalized Tipsy Cow in some 2002 Cabernet from Van Ruiten Winery in Lodi, which plays a special little part in their courtship. Awww!

7. Yes, I'm training for a 10k. I'd put on a few (ahem) pounds when I started helping dad milk, and I've noticed a little sluggishness in my step these days. So, why not, right? Today I ran 4 miles without stopping, and when I was done I felt like I could have gone more! It's all in the pacing. Only took me 26 years to figure that out. It's really all because of my very cool aunt, who never ceases to inspire me. :)

Well, I guess 7's as good a number to quit than any. I have other, much BIGGER news, but I'll let it have its own post. Hope all is well with everyone!

Cheesemaker's Hands

2008-05-24T10:27:00.000-07:00

Last month, I posted about having "milker hands," an affliction that includes short, gritty fingernails; callouses on the insides of both thumbs (from hand-"prepping" the cows); and a nice, orange iodine-stained hue.
Now that I'm back to churning out the cheese, I have "cheesemaker hands," an affliction that is quite the opposite. They're soft and smooth again--hours in a whey-bath will do that, I suppose. But I think I need to find a better way of hand-pressing the curd when I'm packing into the moulds. I usually prefer the palms-down method, which really stretches my fingers out straight and extends my wrists. When I make cheese more than two or three times a week, my wrists get really tired and I get kind of lazy in my pressing. Or I'll form my hands into balls and gently knead the curd with my knuckles to let my wrists take a break.
But a strange thing happened this morning, and it wasn't the first time. The weather's been so weird here, lately. We went from a week of 100+ degree weather and high humidity to mid-70's temperatures with wind and rain. I slept in this morning (what a treat!) and woke from a much-needed deep sleep to find that my third finger on my left hand was bent and wouldn't straighten out! It has that weird feeling in it that makes me want to pop the knuckle (a nasty habit, I know), but I guess it just has a 'crick' in it. It even feels funny to type! Is it a weather-related thing, or are my hands just worn-out from intense cheesemaking?
I hope I don't have some sort of cheesemaker's carpal tunnel. I know my mom has arthritis in her pinky that's waned since she passed the cheesemaking on to me. Is there some sort of cheesemaker's support group I can join? A special health insurance I can get? Treatments? Cures? I'll do anything!!!

The New Relief Milkers

2008-05-22T15:13:00.000-07:00

Seems John and I did a pretty OK job taking over for dad while he was recovering. Now we're just the go-to relief milkers when they have prior engagements.
I don't mind; in fact, I like being in-the-know on the dairy side of things. Milking once or twice a month keeps me up-to-date on which cows are milking and which are dry (a good number to know when I'm trying to figure out the average pounds of cheese they're making). It's also nice to reconnect...when John and I watched the kids show at the county fair last week, the cows recognized and responded to us, which was cool, especially for John. We get kinda attached to those gals.
Plus, it just feels good to be included in everything. It seems like since we started milking we just understand the way things work on the farm a lot better. And that helps our communication with my parents, too. We can gossip about the latest DFA uproar and how that's affecting milk prices. When dad's friends come over to shoot the bull we're included in those conversations too, and we know what we're talking about. When we ask questions, the immediate reaction isn't that we're trying to take over or change things; I think they understand now that we just want to know everything there possibly is to know about this whole sustainable dairy thing. Plus, we've learned a better way to ask those questions. I guess it's not so bad, this whole relief milker thing. I can think of worse jobs!

Cheese Praise

2008-05-20T07:45:00.000-07:00

We received this e-mail from a new customer on the East Coast the other day...

John, 2 of the cheeses I ordered arrived today and were almost immediately sampled. Each cheese individually had a marvelously distinctive flavor that exploded across my taste buds and left a lingering very pleasant after-taste. My sampling was done with the cheeses at room temperature and after the thin slices were left to rest for a minimum amount of time
(I was anxious to taste the cheese). I hope soon to make my own cheese as a retirement learning hobby, your products give me a gauge to measure my successes, or failures.
Thanks for your grand products and the efforts you'll have expended to arrive at this point of your farm & dairy development. Bruce

On a side note, my entries into the California State Fair cheese competition are getting judged tomorrow! I'm anxiously awaiting the results, though we won't get them for some time. I went out on a limb and entered the peppercorn...I have to keep a waiting list for it, so it must be ok, right?

Did You Catch Us in The Sacramento Bee?

2008-05-15T07:46:00.000-07:00

We were featured in the Taste section of the Sacramento Bee yesterday...the first in a series of locavore-themed features! The premise is to highlight the local growers / producers at the Sacramento farmers markets. The Sunday market at 8th and W streets is the largest in the state!
Here's a link to the story...but I have a couple of clarifications...our spring pasture doesn't change the fat content of the Black Butte Reserve, just the flavor. And, I don't regret not having a day off; in fact, I love that this has become my life! It's hard sometimes, but that's what the week off in August is for. :) John and I talk almost daily how this world has become just who we are. We don't come home from a rough day, loosen our ties and crack open a beer to forget the day until tomorrow...this is it! Twenty-four hours a day. We're living the life of sustainable farming, definitely not a 9 to 5, but I don't think we'd change it for anything! I might be looking to hire some help soon, though...
Oh, and before you get any smart-aleck ideas about John being my "friend" in the article, the last time a story ran about us he was mentioned as my "helper," so I guess he's moving up! :)

Cheese Tasting / Film Showing Tonight Benefits Slow Food Chico State

2008-05-14T07:45:00.000-07:00

Join us tonight on the Chico State campus for a cheese tasting followed by a showing of the Emmy-nominated documentary, "Broken Limbs: Apples, Agriculture, and the New American Farmer."
We'll be sampling our cheese from 6:30 pm 'til the movie starts at 7, along with our good friends and fellow local (and organic!) cheesemakers Sierra Nevada Cheese (last year's California State Fair Best in Show winners for their cream cheese!).

More details about tonight:

Who: Slow Food Chico State, Pedrozo Dairy & Cheese, Sierra Nevada Cheese
What: Cheese Tasting, followed by the film, "Broken Limbs: Apples, Agriculture, and the New American Farmer."
When: Wednesday, May 14 (tonight!), 6:30 pm (cheese tasting), 7 pm (film showing)
Where: Chico State, Butte Hall 101
Cost: $3 donation appreciated

More on the movie:
"BROKEN LIMBS explores these hopeful stirrings within agriculture, and outlines ways in which any individual can play a role in saving America’s farmers. Told from a hometown perspective, the film presents the stories of farmers attempting to create this new model for agriculture and emerging, more sustainable solutions to the crises of recent years – solutions applicable not just to apples and not just to farming, but to nearly any sector of the American economy troubled by the effects of consolidation and globalization."

Reserve Your Black Butte Reserve Today!

2008-05-06T09:52:00.000-07:00

As I looked around our shipping container-turned aging room and gazed upon this year's half-completed batch of Black Butte Reserve yesterday, I got to thinking:

"I don't think this is nearly enough to supply everyone who wants this stuff!"

I've got a little over a month to continue making our award-winning Black Butte Reserve, that golden, buttery, asiago-like cheese that we only make during the spring and age until the fall, the cheese San Francisco Chronicle writer Janet Fletcher said, "eludes description."

By mid-June, our grasses will start to change with the seasons and won't have that tell-tale sweet aroma that makes the Black Butte Reserve so special.

Remember last year, when we rationed out the wedges at the farmers markets, but still managed to sell out by 9 AM (and sadly, rarely had enough to bring to our Sacramento customers)? Or when you went to your favorite cheese case only to be told the Black Butte Reserve sold out in a matter of weeks and you'd have to wait until next year?

Well, no more of that! We're pleased to announce our Black Butte Reserve Futures Program!

From now through June 30, our Black Butte Reserve will be available on a pre-order basis at last year's price. Once you place your order, we'll keep you on our super-secure list and let you know when this year's wheels are released.

You'll have my personal, cheesemaker's guarantee that your cheese will be available this fall. A perfect holiday treat!

Click HERE to reserve your Black Butte Reserve today!

"Blessed is the Cheesemaker" In Sacramento's 'Inside the City'

2008-04-23T13:58:00.000-07:00

Julie Foster wrote an absolutely fabulous article on my move back to the farm in this month's issue of Sacramento's Inside the City magazine. How good? Let's just say, we now have vegan customers who bought our cheese at the Sacramento farmers market because they wanted to support our family's mission and the way we raise our cows.
Sometimes I forget what I say during interviews, so it was funny to remember that I'd told her that when I was little I thought we didn't feed our cows with big trucks because we couldn't afford them...not because we didn't have any silage or feed to actually put in those big trucks!
You can check out the story (in pdf form) here, or if you're a Sac-town dweller, you can check out their delivery and newsstand map here.
I think I'll actually be at the market Sunday (dad's back to milking! hooray!), so we'll see you there!

Rubbin' Elbows, Makin' Cheese Connections

2008-04-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted about it yet, but the second annual Artisan Cheese Festival in Petaluma last month was a great way for us to get some exposure in the Bay Area food network. We didn't participate in any of the seminars (we're not exactly considered the "cool kids" in some cheese circles, so we kind of fly under the radar. No big whoop, but it does tend to bruise the ego a bit), but we did participate in the cheese marketplace on Sunday and met scores of people we'd really love to build relationships with.

The very first visitor to our booth was Margaret Fox, author of cookbooks Cafe Beaujolais and Morning Food, and current culinary director for Harvest Market in Fort Bragg on the Mendocino Coast. She tasted our cheese, listened to our family's story, and said our cheese was exactly what she'd been looking for. So, a blurb on her blog and a few weeks of emailing and...ta DA, here we are! In Harvest Market! Once we're done milking night and day we'll stop into the store. Soon, very soon. :)

We also met the chefs from Thomas Keller's Ad Hoc restaurant in Yountville. Super awesome guys who want to come make cheese with me someday, but for now they're rockin' Pedrozo Dairy & Cheese Co. tees and serving our Northern Gold on their prix fixe menu. I daydream of the day I get their daily menu in my inbox, call in for a reservation and just drive to the wine country to have dinner. I hope it's on fried chicken night. I hear it'll change your life.

Also got a chance to hang out with one of my favorite cheese buyers, Gordon Edgar from San Francisco's Rainbow Grocery. Not only does this guy know his stuff, but he's not all snooty about it the way some cheese people can be. And he's hilarious. I lurk on his blog all the time. But seriously, I value his opinion on all things cheese probably more than anyone else. He'd carried our cheese for a while through distributors, but started buying directly from us when I started making cheese...up until the cheese festival we'd only chatted via email and phone calls, since dad likes to do the in-store demos. I'm glad I'm able to put a face to the name now AND get awesome letters of recommendations from him for grant proposals. :)

His buddy, Sheana Davis, is someone I've wanted to meet for a while but similarly have only had the chance to do so through emails. After the Friday-night "meet the cheesemakers" festival kickoff, John and I ran into Sheana at the hotel bar, along with Donna and Jimmy Pacheco of Achadinha Cheese Co. (We were tired and were just going to have a couple of drinks and head to bed, instead of tearing up the town of Petaluma that night.) We hit it off immediately, exchanged numbers, and spent most of the next day in and around Sonoma with Sheana. She's who took us to Vella Cheese Co. to chat cheese with Ig, the godfather of cheese. Sheana runs the Epicurean Connection and also heads up the Cheesemaking Opportunities and Challenges Conference in Sonoma every year. She's so excited and enthusiastic about the future of cheese and food in general. We're definitely going next year.

And last but not least, the fellow cheesemakers! I recognize the names of so many, just through working with my parents over the years, but this was the first time I really went as "the cheesemaker of Pedrozo Dairy & Cheese." A lot of people thought we'd stopped making cheese or sold the dairy, so it was a great way to (re)connect with so many, including Mariano of Fiscalini Cheese, Sue and Peggy of Cowgirl Creamery, the ladies of Point Reyes Farmstead Cheese, and Ryan of Washington's Mt. Townsend Creamery.

This was going to be a short post; I didn't realize I'd met up with so many great people! Definitely looking forward to what is to come with all these connections. Here's to '08!

Thai Cheese

2008-04-21T12:58:00.000-07:00

This story came out in the UK's Metro last week, and I can't get it out of my head. It seems a few dairy farmers practice Thai Chi in front of their cows in the morning, to center themselves and to get the cows in a relaxed mood prior to milking. After spending a lot of our time around our 28 ladies for the last 25 days, my first thought was, 'why didn't I think of that?' Nevermind that I don't know Thai Chi.
But it makes perfect sense. These creatures can pick up on so many different nuances in their environment. The wind's picked up unexpectedly on the farm the last few days, and that always makes the cows a little crazy (combine that with last week's full moon and you wouldn't believe the time we had trying to get the cows into the barn last Thursday!). John and I have been in foul moods a few times that we've gone to bring the cows in, and before even reading this story I felt a twinge of guilt that I couldn't resolve my issues before interacting with the cows.
(On a side note, we're exhausted and two of the most bull-headed people you'll ever meet...so tiffs will sometimes drag on until one of us makes the other laugh...though lately we've found that cow farts can really do the trick!)
One thing, though, is that the title of this article seems a bit misleading...from reading it, I didn't get the feeling that the dairy farmers are practicing Thai Chi to actually get the cows to produce more, but that they would rather the cows be calm and relaxed before going into the barn. That's one thing I'm trying hard to figure out in this whole sustainable dairy practice...when is it about increased production and when is it about just treating the cows well? When do you stop feeding grain altogether and plant alternative grasses? Even if the gallons of milk they're producing goes down, don't you make up for it in the quality of milk and your cows' well-being?

Join Us in Fairytale Town!

2008-04-17T21:23:00.001-07:00

Join us this Sunday at Sacramento's Fairytale Town, a nonprofit family park with more than twenty 3-D child-size playsets based on favorite nursery rhymes and fairy tales. Here's info from their web site on this Sunday's event...

"On Sunday, April 20, animals and agriculture take centerstage during our Farms, Friends and Fairytales event. Sheep will be shorn, wool will be spun, seeds will be planted, ice cream will be churned, puppets will be made, and fun will be had during the event from 11AM - 3PM. "
Go here for more details.

John will be there with cheese samples, pictures of our farm, and all kinds of activity books for the kids! But don't worry, we'll still have our booth at the farmers market at 8th and W streets that morning. :)

Catch Us on The Nibble!

2008-04-17T10:56:00.000-07:00

A fabulous,six-part story about flavored cheeses that happens to mention our Tipsy Cow, Stout Cow and Bubbly Cow!

Flavored Artisan Cheese: Beyond Smoke & Herbs
There Are Beer, Chocolate, Flowers, & Hot Chiles In Artisan Cheeses

I Have Milker Hands

2008-04-07T21:20:00.000-07:00

Holy smokes, I can't believe it's been 12 days since my stepdad Tim's prostate cancer surgery. It just feels like a whirlwind blur of morning and evening milkings, a little cheesemaking in between, some bill paying and a lot of time spent on the farm. I still have so much to learn!
Tim's doing great; he came home the day after his surgery and couldn't wait to be able to milk. Three days later he insisted on "walking the pasture" with me, and we traipsed through all of the different paddocks to check on the squishiness of the ground and see what all the cows had munched (I think we were pretty good graze managers, myself. They ate everything!). I think in a few days he'll be spending more time in the milk barn. But for now, it's me and John, and my little brother Tom and sister Laura when they're not in school. Here's a picture my grandma took when she and her sister visited us the day of Tim's surgery.
This post is going to be super quick, but over the last two weeks I've had so many ideas pop into my head on what to post here that I thought I'd jot them down real fast. Then I can stop obsessing over them and can revisit them when I have time to really write. :)

My new milker life: It's crazy! I'm literally learning about the farm management from the ground up. There's such a feeling of accomplishment and pride when we're moving the fences around and letting the cows into the new pasture...or even when I scrape the manure out of the corral!

Visiting with Ig Vella: I got to chat with the godfather of cheese at his Vella Cheese Company housed in an old brick building in Sonoma about a month ago. My mom asked me if I pulled a Wayne's World, "we're not worthy!" She said that was how she felt when she met him.

I'm ready to move to the farm: Kinda. Maybe. We'll see. Heck, I'm out there all the time anyway. But it has to feel right. And we have to live on the property next door. And I want an uber cool prefab house.

I applied for my first grant: A Value Added Producers Grant from the USDA that will help us with marketing. It was due last Monday. I can't believe I finished it in addition to getting used to my new milking schedule.

We're looking to expand: But not to borrow anymore money. So if you know of anyone in an angel investor capacity who can help with a new aging room and maybe a few cows and some ramp-up help, hit me up. I've already applied for a grant to help with marketing. :)

A tale of two Tipsy Cows: I recently discovered that this cheese company in Washington began producing a raw cows milk farmstead cheese soaked in red wine and named it Tipsy Cow. Also found a flickr page featuring said cheese where the tasters extolled their "creative" cheese names. Uh, yeah, except that my family's been producing a raw cows milk farmstead cheese soaked in red wine named Tipsy Cow for eight years, and have worked very hard to produce, brand and market it at a national level. So, either this couple didn't do their homework before they named their "cheesemaker's favorite" cheese, or they copied us and didn't think we'd notice. I'd like to believe the former, but the similarities are so close it's hard to fathom this was purely coincidental. More on it later, I just wanted to rant since they haven't replied to my email.

I kind of miss my old life: Things have been so crazy lately that the only time I can visit with my friends is if they come to the farm and help us milk. Nevermind the fact that we drink tall boys in the pasture before we get started, or that they keep me up til 1 AM afterward, but I miss the ability to grab lunch with James or coffee with Jess and just catch up. I also kind of miss writing for the magazine and having that downtown urban life. But then I remember that I make kickass cheese and I can drink tall boys in the pasture on a warm afternoon.

I've been drinking a lot of beer: And it shows. It's this weird thing that's kind of tailor made for milking. So I try to balance it with the whole manure-scraping activity.

If Cojo could see me now: That cheese plant outfit's got nothing on what I'm wearing these days! At least it's clean in the cheese plant. This milking gig is gross, no matter how clean we try to keep the cows. I'm wearing the same hoodie and yoga pants twice a day, at least three days a week. Why not? It's just gonna get dirty again. Oh and my roots are REALLY bad.

The Organic Dairy Conference at Chico State: I learned an overwhelming amount of information on soil quality, forage quality and homeopathic cow treatment. I'm a believer, and can't wait to get my hands on all this stuff. I'll leave you with the most profound thing I took away from it: "Don't ever feed your cows what you wouldn't eat, give them water you wouldn't drink, or give them anything you wouldn't inject into your kids." I think about that every single day.

I know I owe a lot of people a phone call, an IM, a text or an email, but please know that I'm thinking of you, probably at the most inopportune time (like putting suction cups on a cow's teats), and that I hope you are well and miss you terribly. :)

Until next time!

RV'ers Love Us, and We Love Them

2008-03-20T09:46:00.000-07:00

I don't know much about the RV culture, other than the fact that the average age of most of its followers is probably triple that of mine; and, now that the weather's getting warmer, these people want somewhere fun to go.
Why not a small dairy with a cheeseplant, right? We thought so, too. Well, we didn't exactly put out an ad in the AARP magazine or anything, but my phone has been ringing off the hook with requests to come check out the place, so what the heck? We're going to be there anyway, so why not show off why we're so special?
Our first group was the Sierra Ramblers, who came by on Valentine's Day. I'd planned to show them around outside and then do a small tasting, but even with their matching red satin jackets they thought it'd be a bit chilly to walk around outside. So 30 ramblers and I crammed into our tiny little cheeseplant office/tasting room/holding area, and I stood on a chair to welcome everyone, give a little spiel and answer questions. Little boards of cheese samples circulated, mostly passed overhead from rambler to rambler.
Then came the cheese-buying frenzy! Our little room didn't afford much space to organize into a line, so the scene became something reminiscent of the floor of the stock exchange...there was a surge toward my little table, fistfuls of money waving in my face, orders barking here and there...
actually it wasn't that bad, but I did put out an SOS for John to come help me, and he arrived like a knight in shining armor, wielding his cheese knife and quartering wheels like a pro.
Soon it was over; the cheese wheels that survived were taking breathers on the table. We waved the ramblers goodbye and took a breath ourselves. We must have seemed fairly composed, because I received this email a few days later...

Dear Mandy & John

I was with the Sierra Ramblers, and my wife and I enjoyed your charming and sparkling presentation and thank you for allowing us a visit. We also are enjoying the cheese purchase. Very nice with a glass of Zinfandel. We wish you and your family the very best in your future as a dairy and cheese factory. I have taken the liberty of including a pic. of you and John. We think you and John make a great lookin couple!

Last week, we hosted another group of about 15 or so, though I didn't take note of what group they were from. The neat thing about these guys is that many of them grew up with at least one family cow. So they have all kinds of questions about the cows, and I think me being so young takes them back a bit. And, if I can be candid, these people aren't shy about buying cheese! The weather was beautiful for our last troupe, so we set up our farmers market tent outside and had a tasting al fresco. Great fun, and a great chance to chat about what we do.
We welcome visitors anytime! Drop me a line and set up an appointment and we'll make sure to make it fun. :) Matching red jackets not required.

Allergies on the Farm: Nothing to Sneeze At

2008-03-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

"Dere's someding about being oud here dat makes my allergies all crazy," I said the other day, rubbing my eyes like mad in between chest-cracking sneezes.
"Uh, Mandy, have you looked around out here?" Tim asked me in a no-duh kind of tone. "We're surrounded by blossoms."
Yeah, yeah, I know. We're the lone pasture dairy among acres and acres of almond trees that are proclaiming to the world that they are, at this very moment, ready for pollination, thank you very much. The ground is covered with blossoms, looking more like a faint dusting of snow instead of an all-out assault on my respiratory system.
Our solitary Asian pear tree has exploded with snow-white blossoms, teeming with honeybees. When we hear those reports about the shortage of bees, I feel a little guilty that so many of them make their way to our place, pollinating the rogue Asian pear, cherry and almond trees, buzzing around the cow pies, daffodils and clover. I want to usher them across the street to the almond trees where their white wooden hives were placed last week, instead of inadvertently providing my windshield as their final resting place. But what can we do? It's nature, after all. Who am I to tell them where to buzz?
I do know that this isn't even the worst of allergy season on the farm. There will come a warmer day that I will sit in my office with the fan blowing, taking refuge from the yellow jackets that ALWAYS try to build their nests at the front door and divebomb me when I try to enter or exit, rubbing my eyes until I just want to DIE.
I suppose it's an ok tradeoff, though. Nothing really compares to the beauty of spring in the country. I'll get over these sniffling days, go about my work with my trusted hankie stuffed in my back pocket, and soon when the unbearable dry heat is upon me I'll pine for the balmy days of March.
I bet this would make a great Claritin commercial..."as a cheesemaker, I can't let my allergy medication keep me in a fog," as my hand gets caught in one of the curd-cutting blades. HA!

Let the Games Begin!

2008-03-16T10:22:00.001-07:00

Tim had his pre-op in San Francisco the other day, so it was our first test of handling a full day of farm management, including morning and afternoon milkings, plus a tour group to the farm in between.
Pardon me for tooting our own horns, but John and I are pretty good at this whole dairying thing. No big deal for a dairy princess, sure. But for John, a city kid who grew up in Pasadena?! He says if you would've told him five years ago he'd be in Muck boots in a milk barn feeling up 30 cows at 6 AM, he would've punched you in the face and called you a liar.
But the guy's a natural! We're working on his technique so he's not putting himself in so much danger sticking his head in dangerous kicking territory. He says he can't see where the teats are sometimes, so it's hard to know where to put the suction cups (that's quite possibly the funniest sentence I've ever typed!). He'll get it; I just don't want him to get kicked in the head in the meantime.
There's something so magical about walking out into the pasture with him to bring the cows in for milking. It was still dark that morning, so we had a trusty handheld lamp to guide us. Tim had given us an idea of which pasture the cows would be in, so we headed in that direction and assumed we'd stumble across them. It was almost like filming a wildlife show! All of a sudden our lamp's light would fall on this dark mass laying in the grass; she'd grumble a little, slowly get up, and head in the direction of the barn. Usually this would trigger the other 29 ladies to do the same, but not today. It was only a few days after daylight savings time, so their clocks told them they didn't need to be up for another hour. As we walked past the first few cows at the front of the pasture, heading all the way to the back so we could herd everyone forward, most of them remained laying down. I'm assuming it was like hitting the snooze button. They figured they'd get up when we came back around and really meant business.
Our eyes soon became used to the darkness, so as we slowly walked those beauties toward the barn, our focus moved toward this amazing other world we have in my folks' backyard. The lushness of the pasture cushioning our steps, the mosey-ing of those groggy cows who hadn't been forewarned that they'd have substitute milkers for a day, the first few crows of the roosters and chirpings of other awakening birds.
Milking was a snap; feeding was easy. We gathered some eggs from the chickens and had a hearty farmers breakfast in my parents' kitchen. The tour group came, we ran some errands in town and had lunch, then we worked on paperwork and bills until it was time to start all over again.
My favorite part of the day was bringing the cows in again that afternoon. It as a little after 5, quite possibly the most beautiful time on the farm. The cows had managed their way into two adjacent paddocks during the course of the day (we're learning about the fencing this week), so I took one group and John took the other. There we were, two cow herders in our rubber boots walking side-by-side in the late afternoon sun, the incredible smell of our pasture wafting up with each step (there were other smells too, but I like to think the overwhelming smell of the clover is a little more romantic). We kept looking at each other and giggling. We didn't have to say it, but I know we were both thinking, "can you believe it? Can you believe our life right now?"
Substitute milkers really are like substitute teachers, and the cows are just like giggly second graders. They'll stop sometimes just to lick their leg, and you can almost hear them saying, "I'm coming, I just have an itch. I just have to scratch it real fast."
Same thing when they make a detour from the milk barn to the water trough to get a drink. "I'm coming, I just need a drink of water real fast." They even watch you out of the corner of their eye while they're getting a drink! Tim taught me years and years ago that when a cow wants water, she gets water. Never rush her and always have it available. So here I am, Ms. Johnston at the drinking fountain, trying to bring the kids in after recess. I try to be patient, but there's usually an exasperated, "done yet?"
Soon we were done milking again; Tim got home from the doctor and immediately made his way to the barn and finished up without even missing a beat. He cleaned up while we fed, and informed us that after his operation he could probably milk, he just can't lift anything more than 10 pounds for four weeks. We'll see. I don't want the guy hobbling around the barn because he can't sit still, and I definitely don't want him messing up his recovery.
Besides, we have a handle on everything!
Or so we thought. The next morning, we both slept through our alarms, waking up at 9 AM (don't tell my parents), sore and exhausted. How the heck are we gonna do this every day for a month? Maybe we'll set up a tent on the farm. :)

Jabba the Cheese

2008-03-16T08:56:00.000-07:00

Ok, I admit it. I have, on occasion, failed to make the most perfect batch of cheese. Sometimes, the cheese just doesn't work. It's a hard lesson to learn, this dealing with a living organism and trying to make it come out the way I want it to thing. But my answer to these imperfect batches is simple: "When in doubt, age it out." Remember last December, when I cracked open a wheel of gross-looking cheese that became the most amazing stuff I'd ever had? Well, I figured I'd try my odds at that again with another batch that just didn't look right.
The only caveat is that aging out "doubtful"-looking cheeses takes up precious real estate in our tiny aging room. And for what? A chance that one or two wheels might just be life-changing? Sometimes it's a chance worth taking, and so I hung onto this giant, 20-pound of cheese for just over a year, hoping to find that pinkish hue and valley of crystals tucked inside its cracked, desert-like exterior.
I named it. I named the giant wheel of cheese that sat on the "oops" rack for a year (other cheesemakers have "oops" racks, too, I found out. Imagine the vindication I felt upon discovering Vella Cheese Co.'s "oops" rack tucked away in their aging room! But that's another post coming soon.).
His name (yes, the cheese was assigned a name AND a gender) was Jabba, and for exactly the reason you're probably assuming. This cheese was big, gross and dusted with mold that I just couldn't get rid of no matter how many times I scrubbed it with brine water. It just sat on that rack alone like a hulking, moldy blob.
I would imagine he would grumble incoherently to himself when nobody was around. When I did bring friends or associates into the aging room, they inevitably would exclaim, "Gross, what IS that?!" And I'd bet five bucks if that cheese could talk, its reply would be crude, accentuated by some kind of cheesy Goodfellas accent. Something like, "you ain't no stinkin' Grade A cutlet neither, sweethawt."
But alas, the time came for Jabba to become a "made" cheese. After watching those young, golden wheels leave the hallowed halls of the aging room to be cleaned up and fawned over on a cheese plate far away, his time had finally come. We set this hulking mass on the press and washed the cheese one last time, watching the brine water seep into the fissures that had mostly sealed up over the year. Once it was dry, I could hardly wait to get our double-handled cheese knife into that cheese and discover the hidden beauty inside.

WRONG! The entire cheese was pasty white and riddled with blue veins. Well, it might still taste ok, right? Sometimes looks can be deceiving, right? WRONG! It was bitter, almost like aged sour milk.
I had to sternly explain to one of our favorite chef customers that this was definitely NOT the cheese he wanted for his Caesar salad dressing. Did he believe me? Of course not. He can deal with any kind of cheese, he exclaimed. In fact, he asked me, "Who the hell do you think you're dealing with?" in a teasing sort of way. Plus, he wanted to take it at a discount. I ended up picking up his quarter wheel of grossness the next day and exchanging it for a wedge of Northern Gold. Told-ya-so.
I guess my "oops" cheeses don't always age into pure gold.
RIP, Jabba.

Join Our Cheese Club by Friday, Feb. 29th and Get a Bonus Month Free!

2008-02-25T16:09:00.000-08:00

Our innaugural Cheese Club shipments are slated to be mailed next week, and boy are we excited! Remember a little segment on the Rachael Ray show featuring yours truly? How 'bout when style maven Cojo suited up and was cheesemaker for a day?
Well, we hung onto that special batch he and I made, named it Cojo Reserve, and are pleased as peppercorns to offer a pound of this once-in-a-lifetime cheese along with - what else? - some very local lemon-infused olive oil (or EVOO) from our good friends at Lodestar Olive Oil.
Plus, sign up by this Friday for any of our 3 Cheese Club Memberships (3, 6 or 12 month) and get a bonus month free AND a Pedrozo Dairy & Cheese Co. tee! Your bonus month can be any month you choose! Perhaps your six-month membership means you'll receive cheese in November and January, but you'll also want cheese for the December holidays. No problem! Just let us know which month works best. Hey, it's YOUR bonus! :)